
Torn in Two
By Graeme
Two young men
wandered along a dark and quiet wooded trail. The one in a hunter’s jacket was
using a small flashlight to show the way, because the moonlight barely filtered
through to ground level. The other, wearing a designer sweater, was walking at
his side.
As they
entered a small clearing, the second man stopped. “Scott, wait a minute.”
“What is it?
Did you lose something?”
Rory Johnston
grinned. “In a way, yes.” He glanced around the clearing and, seeing nothing in
the darkness, pulled his friend into an embrace. “But I’ve found him again.”
Scott Handler
laughed lightly. “Yeah, it’s good having you home again.” He reached behind
Rory’s head and pulled him into a passionate kiss.
When they
stopped for air, Rory pulled back. “That’s the problem. This isn’t home anymore.
Massachusetts is home now. After four years away at college, I can’t call
Greenwood home. I no longer fit in. And I don’t want it to be your home anymore,
either.”
Scott
frowned. “What are you trying to say?”
“I start work
as a web developer in a couple of weeks. I’ll be earning enough to handle a
small apartment. It’s going to be tight, but I want you with me. Come home with
me, Scott. We’ve been apart for too long.”
Scott turned
away and took a step toward the edge of the clearing, then looked back. “Rory, I
can’t. I have to stay. This is my place.”
“This hole?
What’s keeping you here? I’ve been waiting a long time for this. I could’ve
finished my degree earlier, but I didn’t want to take summer classes. I always
had to come back, just to see you. There’s nothing in Greenwood for me, other
than you. Now that I can afford it, I want you to come with me, to make a life
together. Isn’t that what we said we’d do?”
Scott
flinched. “Yeah, we did, but now I can’t. I’m sorry, but I can’t leave.”
“Why?” Rory’s
plaintive cry prompted Scott to move back to him.
“I wish I
could, but Gramps needs me. Without me, the store would fold. He can’t manage it
anymore. He’s my only family, at least the only family I see. Mom keeps saying
she’ll be back, but I’ve seen her maybe a dozen times in the last six years.
She’s going to stay in the Navy – she keeps saying she’ll quit at the end of her
enlistment, but she always re-ups. It’s her life.”
“She gets to
live her life, but you don’t? You know you can’t be out, here in this redneck
town. We can be a couple in Cambridge, and we won’t have to sneak around.” Rory
dropped to one knee. “I love you, Scott. It’s been painful, away from each
other, but my heart is yours. It’s time – come with me.”
Scott shook
his head. “Gramps would die without me. He needs me. Maybe later, but not now.”
Rory rose
slowly. His shoulders were slumped. “That means maybe never. I didn’t want to
think about it, but I was worried this might happen. It’s over, isn’t it?”
“No! I still
love you, Rory. I just can’t go with you. I have responsibilities here that I
can’t walk away from.”
Rory shook
his head. “Don’t screw with me, Scott. If you can’t go now, you’ll never be able
to go. It would be nice if I could wait forever, but I can’t. Those four years
almost killed me. I can’t go through another year, thinking that this time we’ll
be together.” He turned and headed back the way they had come. “Let’s go back to
the road.”
“Rory, wait!”
Scott almost leaped across the space between them. When he tried to put an arm
across Rory’s shoulders, it was shrugged off. “Can you give me some time? I want
to go with you, I really do, but I can’t leave Gramps to manage the store by
himself.”
Rory stopped
and stared at Scott. “I’m in town for two weeks. If I don’t know that you’re
coming with me by the end of that time, I’ll have to assume it’s not going to
work out.” Rory turned and stared into the darkness. “That you’ll never be my
husband.”
“Will you
help me find a way? If we can find a way to look after Gramps, I’ll be there,
but I can’t leave him alone.”
Rory nodded.
“Okay, that’s fair.” He smiled. “We’ll work together to see if we can come up
with a solution. How did he react when you told him?”
Scott’s
silence was revealing.
“You haven’t
told him! We agreed that you would tell him this year that you’re gay, since I
would be graduating and getting a full time job.”
“I couldn’t
do it! I tried, I honestly did. But there was never the time or place to do it.”
Rory groaned
and then smiled. “Okay. I wish you had done it, but I understand. I had enough
trouble telling my parents, so I can’t really blame you.”
Scott grabbed
Rory and pulled him in for quick kiss. “Thank you. I love you, Rory. I really
do. We’ll find a way to be together. I know we will.”
Their next
kiss lasted a long time.
“Damn you,
Scott. Do you know what you’re doing to me?”
Scott
grinned. “I could feel it. I think I should show you some country hospitality
and take care of that for you.”
“Here?” Rory
looked around. “How about some place more comfortable?”
“With some
luck, Gramps will be in bed, or maybe down at the bar. Even if he’s around, we
can sneak into my room. He won’t hear us from the other end of the house.”
Rory grabbed
Scott’s hand. “What are we waiting for?”
The two ran
down the path that led to a rambling old house in the woods, the sound of their
chuckles slowly fading.
A few moments
later, the flash of light from a match illuminated a craggy face near one of the
trees at the edge of the clearing. The glow from his cigarette continued to mark
the presence of the old man, but there was no other movement. He had walked down
to the clearing to think, but the matters that had concerned him had fled his
mind. In their stead, he had weightier things to consider.
* * *
“Scott! Where
are you, you lazy son of a used car salesman?”
“Coming,
Gramps!” Scott entered the kitchen, drying his hair on a towel. “What’s wrong
with you? You’re sounding extra grumpy this morning.”
“We’ve got to
open the store in thirty minutes, and you’re still not ready. I don’t think
you’re up to running a business. You just don’t have the right attitude.”
Scott
frowned. “Did you get up on the wrong side of the bed this morning?”
“And don’t
you use my sayings on me. You youngsters have no appreciation for what’s
important in life. You probably spent half the night with that no good friend of
yours, chasing girls.”
“Yeah, I did
spend half the night with Rory, but so what? I’m here and ready to work. We’ve
still got plenty of time.”
The old man
shook his head. “You think gallivanting around with people like Rory is more
important than being ready to open the store. You kids think everything’s a
game. That Rory isn’t a country boy. He shouldn’t be here, and the sooner he’s
gone, the better.”
“Rory’s been
my best friend since our junior year. You’ve never said anything against him
before. Why now?”
Gramps
grunted. “Maybe I’ve finally seen him for what he is.”
Scott crossed
his arms. “And what’s that?”
Gramps looked
sternly at Scott. “A big city slicker. A high roller who’s probably going
somewhere, but not here. He doesn’t fit in, and I don’t like him hanging around.
He’s got an attitude that might be fine in the big city, but it doesn’t suit a
good Greenwood boy.”
“He’s my
friend. That’s enough for me. Anyway, you know he’s from here and his family is
here. He’s still a country guy at heart.”
“You can’t be
friends with a city slicker – and that’s what he is, whatever his stock – and be
a country boy, too.”
“I don’t see
why not. It’s not like I live in a city. I just know someone who does.”
Gramps shook
his head. “That won’t work out, son. He won’t keep coming back here. You’re
better off cutting clean of him, instead of letting him fill your head with big
dreams and then have him leave you high and dry.”
Scott looked
away. The conversation was uncomfortably close to the talk he’d had with Rory in
the woods the night before.
“It’s almost
time to open the store, Gramps.”
“That’s what
I said before. Get a move on. I’ll be there when I can.”
Scott ignored
the gruff tone and walked out the door. If he rushed, he could get to the store
in less than ten minutes, but he still had plenty of time. A fifteen-minute walk
along the wooded trail to town would give him some thinking time.
* * *
Scott smiled
at the early customer. “Good morning, Reverend.”
“Morning,
Scott. Is your grandfather around?” The portly minister glanced around the
crowded interior of the general store.
“Not yet, but
he shouldn’t be long. Is there something I can help you with?”
Reverend
Ernest Hentingly shook his head. “I don’t think so. I want to ask him if I may
put up some flyers in the front windows.” Ernest grinned at Scott. “Do you
remember the time when you said yes to the same request?”
Scott
laughed. “Yeah, I do. He sure tore into me, and then, as I remember, he did the
same to you.”
Ernest
chuckled. “Verbally, at least. He made it quite clear that this is his store,
and that if people want to use a window as a free billboard, they have to ask
him first. At least he let the flyer stay, and he’s been good with all the other
times I’ve asked, but I’m not doing it again without his okay.”
“You’re a
smart man, Reverend.” Scott glanced at the papers in the minister’s hand. “What
this one about?”
“Something
important, but then I suppose they all are. This one’s especially urgent,
though. Some heathens in the state capital are going to put a referendum on the
November ballot that would overturn the definition of marriage, if it passed.
We’ve got to raise awareness of it, so people will get out and vote against it.
We can’t let the sanctity of marriage be desecrated!”
Scott
frowned. “What do you mean?”
“They want to
overturn the state constitutional definition we voted in, and make it legal for
two men to marry. Or two women. It’s just not natural, and we have to fight
God’s fight and make sure they don’t win.”
“They’re not
likely to, though, are they?”
“Probably
not, but we have to be vigilant. I suppose you’ve heard what those activist
judges did in California. We have to make sure that judges don’t do the same
thing here!”
Gramps walked
in through the side door, a cigarette dangling from his lips. “Don’t do what?”
“Morning,
George. We have to make sure they don’t corrupt marriage, like they’ve managed
to do in California. There’s a move to try to change the constitution again. I’d
like to put up some flyers to remind people there’s going to be an item on the
ballot on the subject, and we have to make sure everyone gets out and votes it
down.”
Gramps
grunted. “Any queers in this state ought to have the gumption to leave, if they
know what’s good for them. They’re not welcome here. Put up your flyers, Ernest.
Marriage is important.” He glanced at Scott. “Nonetheless, I seem to be waiting
a long time to celebrate my grandson’s wedding.”
Scott
reddened and turned away. He busied himself in a corner of the store, cleaning
countertops.
Ernest
grinned. “He’s still young. There’s plenty of time for some young lady to catch
his eye.”
Gramps
scowled at Scott. “We’ll see.” He turned back to the reverend. “Is there
anything else we can do for you?”
“Why, yes,
there is. May I borrow Scott later today? The rear door of the church is acting
up again, and I want him to take another look at it.”
“Still too
stingy to pay a professional?”
“Why should I
pay someone when a good boy like Scott can do the job just as well?”
“Still
stingy. As if free labor can do as good a job as someone who’s trained.” Gramps
turned to Scott. “Do you want to do the job?”
Scott looked
back. “Sure. It’s no trouble. I’ll do it on my lunch break.”
“Go do it now
and get it over and done with. If you put things off, you never know what sort
of a mess you’ll get into. I don’t know why I’m saying anything, though. You
young people just don’t listen anymore.”
“I said I’d
do it on my lunch break, and I will.” Scott was exasperated at his grandfather’s
cranky attitude.
“And I said
to go do it now. See? I said you don’t listen. I don’t know why I let you help
me in this store.”
Scott threw
his dust cloth onto the nearest counter. “Fine! I’ll do it now.” He glanced at
the reverend. “It’s the rear door again, is that right?”
“That’s what
he said, Scott,” Gramps replied before Ernest could open his mouth. “Did you
forget to clean out your ears this morning?”
Scott glared
at his grandfather before turning back to the reverend. “I’ll get my tools and
I’ll be right there. I’ll let you know when I’m done. Will you be in the
parsonage?”
“No, son,
I’ll be out visiting some of our members. I’m sure you’ll do a great job, so
just leave me a bill for any parts the church treasury will need to cover, and
that’ll be fine. Thanks, Scott. I really appreciate it.”
Scott glared
at Gramps as he replied, “No problem. It’s good that someone appreciates what I
do.”
There was no
answer. Scott’s grandfather appeared to be ignoring him, and Reverend Hentingly
looked uncomfortable with the situation.
Ernest held
up one of his flyers. “I’ll just put some of these in the windows and be on my
way. Thanks, Scott. Thank you, George.”
Scott went to
the back for his toolbox and the reverend moved to the front of the store. Scott
was still teed off ten minutes later, when he started working on the church
door.
* * *
Scott and his
grandfather followed their nightly routine of having dinner at the kitchen
table. It was Scott’s turn to cook, and he made one of his grandfather’s
favorite meals. It was simple – grilled steak, corn-on-the-cob, a baked potato
and string beans.
Scott waited
until they had started eating before he brought up the issue that had bothered
him all day. “What’s got into you, Gramps? You’ve been sniping at me almost
non-stop all day.”
“Don’t
exaggerate, boy. You haven’t been around me all day.” Gramps’ attention was on
the meat in front of him.
“That’s what
I’m talking about! If I’ve done something wrong, tell me. Don’t treat me like
I’m some loathsome slug that’s crawled out from under a rock.”
Gramps
paused, fork halfway to his mouth, and glanced at his grandson. “Do you think
you’re a loathsome slug?”
“No, of
course not!”
“Then my
opinion is irrelevant.” Gramps put the piece of steak into his mouth and started
chewing.
“Just tell me
what I’ve done, because for the life of me, I’ve got no idea. You’re my family,
and you’ve never been like this before. What’s going on?”
Something
came over Gramps’ face as he stopped chewing for a moment. He stared at his
grandson for several seconds, while his jaw resumed working. He swallowed, and
then dropped his gaze to his plate.
“What are
your plans for the future, son?”
Scott smiled
at the gentler tone. The usual gruffness was there, but without the spitefulness
that had tainted it all day. “I plan to help you keep the store running, and
then take it over at some point, so you can retire.”
Gramps
grunted. “Is that what you really want? To run the store until you’re old and
decrepit like me?”
“You’re not
decrepit!”
There was a
hint of a smile on Gramps' face as he lifted his head. “At least you didn’t try
to deny the ‘old’ part.”
Scott
grinned. “There’s nothing wrong with being old. I’ll be that way, one day.”
“So that’s
your future. What about family and kids? No plans to get married?”
Scott frowned
at the bitter edge and made a guess at the cause. “Is that what you’re looking
for? Great grandkids? I don’t know, Gramps. Yeah, I’d like to get married
someday, but I haven’t met a girl I’d like to settle down with. Give me a break.
I’m only twenty-two.”
“At
twenty-two I was fighting the Germans and sending love letters to your
grandmother. You’re old enough to have found someone you want to spend your life
with.”
Scott looked
sideways at his grandfather. “You never talk about that war. Why are you
mentioning it now?”
Gramps
returned his attention to the plate in front of him. “Maybe because I’m feeling
old. The war taught me that sometimes life can be short. I’d like to see you
married before my last day is done.”
Scott shifted
uncomfortably in his seat. “I can’t control when I’m going to meet someone,
Gramps. And it’s wrong to marry someone I don’t love.”
Gramps
grunted, ending that topic of conversation.
* * *
“Where does
that leave us?” Rory asked as they walked along the trail that night.
“I don’t
know. I think he’s getting worried about what’s going to happen when he’s too
old to do things for himself. I can’t leave him now. That would be cruel.”
Rory put a
hand on Scott’s shoulder. “I know, but that means it’s over for us. I can’t wait
forever, Scott. I guess that’s the way it works in romance novels, but this
isn’t one of those stories. This is real life. I’ve been out at school for two
years, and I’ve had offers from some really nice guys. I turned them all down
because I’ve been waiting for you. But I need to know you’ll be there for me. If
you can’t be, I have to move on. I don’t want to, but you can’t leave me
hanging.”
“Do you think
I don’t know that?” Scott shook off Rory’s hand and moved a step away. “I want
to be with you, but I need to be with my Gramps. What I need to do has
to take priority over what I want.” He glanced at his boyfriend. “Are you sure
you won’t move back here?”
“And move
back into the closet? I can’t. Not even for you – it would drive me nuts.
There’s just nothing here for me anymore – except you. There’s also no work in
my field. You could get a job in Cambridge or Boston, but there’s no job for me
here in Greenwood.”
“Are you
sure? Couldn’t you find something where you could telecommute?”
Rory was
thoughtful. “I’ll tell you what. We’ve still got time to try to work things out.
Let’s see how homophobic this town really is.”
Scott’s
eyebrows hit his hairline. “What are you going to do?” He glanced around
nervously, even though everything was pitch black.
“Don’t worry.
I won’t get you involved. I need to plan this carefully, but sometime in the
next few days I’m going to let everyone know I’m gay. If it goes badly, I’ll
just head home earlier than planned. If it works out well, it’ll open up some
options we can explore further.”
“Don’t do
anything stupid.” Scott reached out and took Rory’s hand. “I don’t want to lose
you.”
“I know,
Scott, but unless we do something, we’re going to lose each other. Something has
to change. We haven’t come up with anything else, so I’m going to try it.”
* * *
The place was
half full, typical for early evening on a Thursday, when Rory and his dad
entered and sat at the bar between Bob, an electrician, and Joel, one of the
local farmers. Trevor, the bartender, grinned at the newcomers.
“It’s been a
long time, Rory. How’ve you been?” Trevor drew a beer and placed it front of the
young man. “Have one on the house.”
“Thanks, Trev.
I’ve been good, but I’m glad I’ve finished school. I’m looking forward to
starting work when I go back to Cambridge.”
Bob laughed.
“That attitude won’t last long. Welcome to the real world, Rory.”
Trevor
grinned. “We’ll see, Bob. Some of us like the jobs we do. What’ll you have,
Charlie?” he asked as he reached for another mug.
“The usual,”
Rory’s dad replied, dropping a bill onto the bar. “Thanks, Trevor.”
“What brings
you in tonight?” Trevor asked as he gave Charlie his beer and scooped up the
money.
“Just having
a brew.” Charlie winked. “The men in the house needed to get out and relax for a
few hours. Helen’s a wonderful wife and mother, but she’s started to get clucky
now that her youngest son’s back home for a couple of weeks.”
Joel grinned.
“Rachel was the same when our kids came back from college. Does that mean you
two are going to settle in here for the long haul?”
Rory and his
dad exchanged glances.
“We’ll see
how it goes,” Charlie said. “But that’s the plan.”
Trevor
chuckled as he noticed that Rory had already finished his beer. “I can see that
the typical college student’s love of beer hasn’t changed. Like another one,
Rory?”
“Yes, please.
Thanks, Trev.” Rory pulled out his wallet but was stopped by his father.
“It’s on me,
son. I’m celebrating having you home, so I’m buying.”
Joel grinned.
“When did you win the lottery, Charlie? That boy of yours can drink that wallet
dry, if he’s anything like my boy.”
Rory laughed.
“I did my share of binge drinking in college, but I’m not going overboard
tonight. I’m just going to have a good evening.”
Trevor put
another beer in front of the young man. “There you are. How have things been
going? Is there a girl who caught you while you were away?” He winked.
“You don’t
ask that sort of thing, Trevor, especially not in front of his dad.” Bob
grinned. “We only need to know if there’s a girl he’s willing to bring home to
meet his mom.”
Rory took a
big swig while he waited for the chuckles to die down. He caught the slow nod
from his father, but he kept his attention on his beer. He found that he wasn’t
ready to look at Trevor while giving his answer.
“No, no girl.
But there’s a guy who’s caught my eye, and I’m hoping he’ll be willing to marry
me soon.”
Trevor
laughed. “Yeah, right. Now pull the other one, Rory. It plays ‘Jingle Bells’.”
Rory looked
up. “I’m serious. I’m not into girls. I like guys.”
Trevor’s grin
slipped away. He glanced at Rory’s dad who stared back impassively. “Charlie?”
“My son, who
I love dearly, happens to be gay. Helen and I have known for over a year, and
we’re looking forward to meeting the young man who Rory wants to marry.” Charlie
grinned at his son. “Even though he’s been very coy about it. He won’t even tell
us the boy’s name.”
Bob slipped
off his bar stool. “I’m not sitting next to a faggot!” He glared at Trevor. “You
get rid of him, or I’m out of here.”
Rory began to
stand, but his father’s hand on his shoulder held him down. “Stay,” his father
said.
“Charlie,
maybe it would be better if...” Trevor’s voice trailed off under Charlie’s
glare.
“Do you have
a problem, Trevor?”
“Ah... no.
Not at all.”
“Well, I do!”
Bob said. “I don’t want to be anywhere near that freakin’ fag.”
Charlie
glared past Rory at Bob. “Then why don’t you leave? If you’re so narrow-minded
that you find the mere presence of my son offensive, then you can go fuck
yourself.”
“Dad...” Rory
was uncomfortably aware that he was between two men who appeared ready to throw
punches. There was half a roomful of other men, and several women, who were
looking on, and few looked sympathetic. Most were merely curious, but a few
showed emotions similar to Bob’s.
“No fighting
in the bar! If you want to start something, take it outside.” Trevor’s normally
stern barroom voice sounded unsure as he glanced at the two potential
combatants.
“I’m not
starting anything. I’m just having a beer with my son,” Charlie said, keeping
his attention on Bob.
“Kick them
out, Trevor, or you’ll never see me again.” Bob threw his ultimatum while
glaring at Charlie.
Trevor looked
from one man to the other several times before speaking. “They’re only having a
beer, Bob. I can’t kick them out.”
“Fine, then
you can say goodbye to my business.” The look Bob threw Rory was filled with
hatred. “And you’d better watch your back, boy. If you try anything, don’t start
crying when you get what’s coming to you.”
“And what’s
that supposed to mean?” Charlie demanded.
“You know
exactly what it means! His sort do perverted things to kids. If I even see him
near one of my boys, I’ll kill him!” Bob threw one last glare at Rory before
storming out.
Five other
people stood up and headed toward the door.
Rory gulped
once before raising his voice. “I’m not like that. I’m not a pedophile.” He knew
it sounded weak, but he couldn’t let Bob’s words be the last thing those people
heard.
“I love my
son, and if anyone’s got a problem with him, they can come see me.” Charlie’s
glare around the room had most of the people turning their attention away from
the drama at the bar. He sat back down and glanced at Joel. “What about you?”
“Me?” Joel
seemed honestly surprised. “What about me?”
“Do you have
a problem with my son?”
Joel seemed
to consider the question seriously, and then he grinned. “Sorry, Charlie, but
he’s not my type. And I’m already married, so you’ll have to look elsewhere for
a son-in-law.”
Charlie had
his mouth open, ready to argue, and it took him a moment to switch moods. He
laughed. “Does that mean you won’t let me buy you a drink?”
“I never said
that. I won’t turn down a free drink, but just keep your hands to yourself,
Charlie. I’m not that easy.”
While Joel
and Charlie chuckled, Trevor turned to Rory and gave him a hesitant smile. “Why
won’t you tell your folks the name of this boy, Rory?”
“Because he
hasn’t said yes, yet. Unless he does, I can’t say who he is.”
“Unless? That
sounds like he might say no.”
Rory looked
at the beer in front of him. He picked it up and drained it quickly. “That’s
what I’m afraid of.”
As the
tension in the room faded, an old man in the corner kept his eyes and ears on
the three at the bar as he sipped his beer. His observations during the previous
few minutes had given him more things to think about.
* * *
“Scott? Are
you home?”
“I’m
upstairs, Gramps.”
“Can you come
down here?” Gramps took a bottle of whiskey from the cupboard and poured a stiff
drink after taking a seat at the kitchen table. He was just screwing the cap
back on when his grandson appeared.
“What is it?”
Gramps
pointed at the chair opposite him. “Sit.”
Scott sat
down, looking puzzled.
Gramps took
some of his drink before he began. “Did you know that Rory’s a homosexual?”
Scott’s eyes
opened wider, and he tried to avoid his grandfather’s gaze. “Where did you hear
that?”
“So you did
know. As for where I heard it, he told the whole bar tonight, and that means
everyone in town will know by morning.”
Scott looked
up. “How did people at the bar take it?”
Gramps
shrugged. “Some walked out. Some didn’t seem to care. There might’ve been a
fight if his dad hadn’t stood up for him. How long have you known?”
Scott
squirmed in his chair for several long seconds. “What do you think about him,
Gramps?”
“None of my
business what he does in the privacy of his own bedroom, as long as he doesn’t
break the law. Now answer the damn question!”
Scott frowned
as he considered his answer. “He’s my best friend. I’ve known for a while.”
Gramps stood
up and grabbed his glass and the bottle of whiskey. “You’re a fool, son. The
sooner you admit that, the better.” He turned and walked toward his room.
“What do you
mean?”
Gramps looked
back over his shoulder. “You figure it out.”
* * *
“Do you think
he suspects?” Scott asked, as he lay on his bed.
Rory’s voice
sounded scratchy as it came over the cell phone. “He might, but it sounds like
he won’t have a problem if you tell him.”
“I can’t! You
weren’t there on Monday when he said that queers aren’t welcome here. He might
be okay with you, but he knows you’re leaving soon. He may have a very different
reaction if I come out.”
“But he might
not. And if he does, you’ll be able to come away with me.”
“That would
be a good thing for me, but if I go, there’ll be no one to look after him. I
think he was planning on getting drunk tonight. He’s never taken a bottle to his
room before. I’m scared for him! I also think he meant I’m a fool for being
friends with you, which means he’s not going to be cool if I come out.”
“Don’t worry
about it, Scott. We’ll see how things go during the next few days, and if they
go okay, we can look at the option of me finding a job around here. That won’t
be easy, but we can give it a shot. I’ve got a good feeling about things.
Besides the few who left the bar when Bob did, no one else seemed to be bothered
by me the whole night. I had almost ditched the idea at first, when I saw your
grandfather in the corner, but I’m glad I didn’t. Especially if it helps you
with him.”
“You’d really
consider moving back here?”
After a few
seconds, the answer came. “I’ll admit that I don’t really want to, but if it
means staying with you, then, yes, that’s what I’ll do. Sometimes I don’t think
you really understand what you mean to me, Scott.”
Scott blushed
as he realized he was questioning the commitment of the guy who had been waiting
four years for him. “When do you think you’ll know if things have gone okay?”
“Even though
I think everything went pretty well tonight, it’ll be a few days before we
really know. Reverend Hentingly has me worried. I don’t know where he stands,
but I think we’ll find out on Sunday. Mom, Dad and I will be in church, and if
he doesn’t reject me, I think everything will be fine.”
Scott heard
the optimism and enthusiasm, but he couldn’t join in. He had been in the closet
for too long, and he could imagine too many disastrous possibilities.
* * *
Scott kept
glancing back toward the church entrance, waiting for Rory and his parents to
enter. There had been a subtle tension building in the town since Rory had come
out. While many people seemed indifferent, a hardcore few were agitating for
action against him. No specific action had been proposed, but there was a sense
of impending violence that worried Scott.
“Something
wrong, Scott?”
Scott
wondered what he should say. Given his surroundings, he decided to be truthful.
“I’m waiting for Rory to come in. I want to see what the reaction will be.”
Gramps
grunted. “He’ll get the reaction he gets. You’re not going to change that.”
Scott was
trying to decide on a response when the issue became academic. “He’s here.”
Gramps
twisted around to watch with his grandson. They noticed that most of the
congregation also turned to look.
Rory’s pace
slowed when he realized he was the center of attention. He then straightened his
shoulders and marched on down the center aisle with his parents. There was no
other reaction until he went to sit down. Three people in the pew he chose
immediately stood up and moved away. The statement they made couldn’t have been
more clear, even though not a word was spoken.
“About what I
expected,” Gramps said softly.
Scott glanced
at him in surprise. “What do you mean?”
Gramps didn’t
respond, but he watched Rory and his family for several more seconds. He then
picked up one of the pew Bibles and opened it, shutting out any option for Scott
to question him further.
The service
began in the usual manner, but it was evident that the minister had noted Rory’s
presence. It wasn’t long before Ernest Hentingly made his views clear.
“It has
saddened me to learn that one of our flock has turned away from The Lord. I have
to strongly warn anyone who believes they should take action on the matter,
though, because it is up to God to pass judgment. We must beware the temptation
the devil has placed in front of us, and turn away, rather than strike. Leave
the sinner to consider his fate, and pray that he will see the light. Do not
follow him along the path of sin by letting your righteous anger lead you
astray.”
Most of the
congregation glanced in Rory’s direction, Scott included. Rory’s expression was
stern, with his eyes fixed on where the reverend stood behind the pulpit.
“Do not
listen to those who corrupt the Word of God. The instructions are clear –
homosexuality is a sin. But pray for Rory Johnston and his family. Pray that
they will see the light and turn back to The Lord.”
Rory’s dad
stood up, showing a fiery expression. “We’re all sinners, Reverend. My son is no
worse than any person here today in this sanctuary, and better, I believe, than
many. If you can’t see the truth, I see no reason to stay here and listen.” He
glanced down. “Come on, we’re leaving.”
As the family
made their way toward the narthex, the reverend raised his hands to the ceiling.
“Oh, Lord, may Your saving grace come down and heal this poor family. Show them
Your love and teach them the errors of their way.”
Rory stopped
at the rear of the nave. He turned and looked directly at the minister, then
reached over and pulled a Bible from the last pew.
Pastor
Hentingly smiled “That’s right, son. That’s the good book that tells us all how
to live, and it tells us that the life you’re living is one of sin. Repent and
be saved!”
“What are you
doing, son?” Rory’s dad asked.
Rory ignored
the question. He opened the Bible and quickly found what he was looking for.
With a loud and clear voice he started to read, while slowly walking toward the
front of the church.
“If I
speak in the tongues of men and angels, but have not love, I am only a
resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.”
The reverend
seemed puzzled for a moment, but then he smiled. “God’s love is strong enough to
forgive even one like you, my son. All you need to do is turn your back on that
devil’s-spawn lifestyle to which you have subscribed.”
Rory
continued. “If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and
all knowledge, and I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I
am nothing.”
“Love, my
son, not lust. The fires that burn within you are those of the devil, not of
God.”
“If I give
all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not
love, I gain nothing.”
The reverend
seemed uncertain as he responded. “Be careful, Rory. Just because love is
praised, do not be fooled by the lies of the great deceiver. What you have
espoused is not love, but an evil distortion of what is right and proper.”
“Love is
patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It
is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no
record of wrongs. Love does not rejoice in evil but rejoices with the truth.”
The closer
Rory got to the altar, the more unsettled the reverend appeared. Rory had an
aura that seemed to disturb the man behind the pulpit.
“We don’t
rejoice in what you are, Rory, and neither should you. You’ve chosen a life of
sin. It’s not too late to change, son. All you need to do is believe.”
“It always
protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”
Ernest
Hentingly wiped his forehead with a white handkerchief. It was not lost on the
congregation that Rory seemed calm, but the minister did not. Ernest opened his
mouth as if to say something, but Rory’s calm, clear voice seemed to strike him
dumb.
“Love
never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are
tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For
we know in part and we prophesy in part, but where perfection comes, the
imperfect disappears.” As Rory skirted the altar and stepped up to the
pulpit, the reverend backed away. “When I was a child, I talked like a child,
I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put
childish ways behind me. Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then
we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as
I am fully known.”
Rory closed
the Bible and slammed it down onto the pulpit. He stepped forward and the
reverend backed further away.
“And now
these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.”
Rory glared at the older man. “God made me gay. It is part of His plan, and
therefore I intend to be the best gay man that I can be. I believe in a God of
love. Who do you believe in?”
Without
waiting for a response, Rory turned to the congregation. “That passage I’ve just
read has been my lifeline for many years. God loves me. God made me the way I
am. I’m not going to argue with Him, and I will continue to do what I can to
serve Him to the best of my knowledge and ability. And if He blesses me with
someone I can spend my life with, I’m not going to turn away from His gift. If
you think He made a mistake in making me gay, then take it up with Him. I’m
prepared to face Him when it’s time, and to stand up for what I am and what I’ve
done. Who here can say that they can do better?”
Rory’s
question drew only silence. He looked over the congregation before stepping away
from the pulpit. “I know that God loves me. Your views mean nothing compared to
His. But unless He calls me back here to Greenwood, I won’t return. You’ll have
to face Him when he calls you before Him, and justify any hatred in your hearts,
because He’s the one you have to answer to, not me. May God have mercy on us
all.”
Rory marched
up the aisle to where his parents were waiting. Their smiles told everyone how
proud they were of their son.
Scott
continued to stare after Rory and his parents, even when they were no longer in
sight. The announcement of a hymn barely registered. It was only when everyone
rose and he could no longer see the door that he turned his attention to the
front. He looked over and saw his grandfather contemplating him.
“What?”
Gramps shook
his head. “You make your decisions and you stick to them until you know they
aren’t working.”
Scott’s
question was delayed by the start of the singing. After some consideration, he
decided to leave it unasked. He knew that Gramps would explain himself when he
was ready, and not before.
* * *
“Scott, I
don’t want you to come here. I don’t want you to even look at me if you see me
on the street.” Rory’s voice on the phone sounded frantic.
“Is it that
bad?”
“Maybe not,
but I’m getting scared. Mom and Dad have gotten lots of calls of support, but
there have been two bricks through the front windows and a fire lit in front of
the house. I’ve asked Dad to drive me over to the regional airport first thing
in the morning, so I can catch a plane back to Boston – I’m not waiting until
the end of the week. After I leave, maybe things will settle down. I’m sorry,
Scott, but coming out hasn’t gone as well as I hoped it would.”
Scott sighed
and stared around his bedroom. “So, then, we’re down to two choices. I either
leave Gramps to fend for himself, or we’re finished as a couple.” Scott felt
like punching something. “I hate this!”
“I know, and
I wish there was another way. You know what I want, but you’re right about your
grandfather, too. Sometimes there’s just no right answer, and I think this is
one of those times. No matter what you decide, you know that I love you.”
Scott sighed
again. “I know.”
“I’ve got to
go, but take your time to make a decision. I asked you to decide by the end of
the week, but that’s not fair. I’ll wait for you until the end of summer, and
I’ll try to wait longer, but I just can’t keep hanging on forever.”
“Thanks,
Rory. I love you, too. I’ll let you know as soon as I can, I promise.”
Five minutes
later, a dejected Scott entered the den where Gramps was watching TV.
“What’s up,
son? You look as if your best friend just died.”
“I’ve just
been talking to Rory. I think some people wish he was dead.”
Gramps hit
the remote control and silenced the TV. “And what are you going to do about
that?”
Scott stared
in surprise. “Do you think I should stand up for him?”
“I’m not
telling you what to do. That’s up to you. I just asked what you are going to
do.”
Scott looked
away. “It doesn’t matter. He’s leaving early in the morning.”
“Good. I was
hoping he’d do that.” Gramps clicked the remote again. “And Scott, we’re out of
whiskey. My wallet’s on the table – go get another bottle.”
“Why can’t
you get it yourself?” Scott was angry, but he knew he was mad at the situation,
not at his grandfather.
“Because I
asked you to do it. And the fresh air will do you the world of good. You need to
get out, not mope around the house.”
“Okay!” Scott
gritted his teeth to stop himself from blasting the old man. “I’ll be back!” He
stormed out, snatching up the wallet as he passed through the kitchen.
When the
slamming of the back door signaled Scott’s exit, Gramps muted the TV and picked
up the phone.
* * *
When Scott
opened the door, his mouth fell open at the sight of the Navy uniform. “Mom?”
Susannah
Handler stepped forward and pulled her son into a hug. “I got here as fast as I
could. How is he? Is he here or in the hospital?”
“What are you
talking about?”
She pushed
him back and saw that he looked bewildered. “Your grandfather. He called me to
say he was dying!”
Gramps
stepped out of the living room. “I never said that. “But it’s about time you
came home for a visit, Susie. I was beginning to think you weren’t still part of
this family.”
“Yes, you
certainly did say that! You told me that this is probably your last summer!”
Susannah glared at her father.
Gramps
stepped forward and gave his daughter a kiss on the cheek. “What I said was that
this is probably my last summer here. I’m thinking of selling everything and
moving on.”
Scott
interrupted. “What? You’ve never said anything about doing that.”
Gramps gave
him a stern look. “It’s rude to leave your mom standing in the doorway. Pick up
her bag and bring it inside, and then we can talk.” He turned and walked back
the way he had come.
“Dad, what’s
going on?” Susannah waved off her son, picked up her flight bag, and followed
Gramps.
“When we’re
all settled.”
Ten minutes
later, after Gramps had had Scott make coffee, and they were all in the living
room, Susannah tried again.
“Okay, come
clean, Dad. Something’s going on, and I don’t appreciate the way you tricked me
into coming here. You deliberately made it sound like you were dying. I had to
call in some favors to get leave at such short notice.”
Gramps was
unfazed. “I’m old enough that each year could be my last. And you’ve been
neglecting your son. You did the right thing, leaving him with me to finish high
school, but you’ve only been back a few times in these years since he graduated.
I don’t think you know him anymore, and that’s just plain wrong.”
“It’s okay,
Gramps,” Scott said.
“No, it’s
not, Scott. Your mom has her own life to lead, just like you do, but that
doesn’t excuse her from ignoring her family.”
“If you’re
trying to make me feel guilty, it’s not working.” Susannah stared at her father.
“So what’s really going on? And what’s this about selling out?”
Scott scooted
out to the edge of his seat as he waited for the answer.
“I’ve decided
to sell the store and move away. I haven’t decided where, yet, but working six
days a week is no longer for me.”
“What about
me?” Scott asked. “I thought you were going to let me run the store when you
retired.”
Gramps shook
his head. “I don’t think so. Yeah, at one point that’s what I wanted, but not
now. The store’s not for you.”
Scott
scowled. “Why not? I’ve been working there as much as you for the last four
years! More, if you want to be honest, and now I’ve got no say in what happens?”
“You do have
a say, but I get to make the final decision. As far as the store is concerned,
your heart’s not really in it, and if you’re honest with yourself, you’ll know
that I’m right.” Gramps looked at his grandson. “I think it’s time you filled
your mother in on what’s been happening recently.”
“What do you
mean?” Scott was uneasy, because he felt there was something going on that he
didn’t understand.
Gramps rose
to his feet. “You need to learn to listen, son. Talk to your mother. You two
have a lot of catching up to do.”
“Dad, are you
okay?” Susannah asked. “You’re acting really weird.”
Scott nodded
his head. “He’s been odd all week.”
Gramps looked
at them. “You two need to talk. Especially you, Scott. When you’ve finished,
it’ll be my turn. Until then, I’ll be in the kitchen.” He quickly disappeared,
leaving a confused mother and son in his wake.
“Scott,
what’s going on?”
Scott slumped
back in his seat and stared at the faded carpet. His grandfather’s surprising
announcement had his mind spinning. One thing seemed clear, though: he wouldn’t
be staying in Greenwood to look after Gramps. “Mom, you remember Rory, don’t
you?”
She frowned.
“Wasn’t he your best friend at high school, and then he went to college?”
Scott nodded.
“He graduated last month. We kept in touch all along, and he’s just been back
for a break before he starts his first job. He left town early, though, because
of some threats against him.” The next part got stuck for a moment in Scott’s
throat.
“Threats? Who
would be making threats against him, and why?”
Scott cleared
his throat and looked up so he could watch his mother’s reaction. “Rory came out
last week, in a public place, so the whole town knows. Rory’s gay.”
Susannah’s
eyes grew wide, and then narrowed. “This is still a pretty conservative place.
Some people wouldn’t like that. But what’s that got to do with you? Dad pretty
much implied that something big’s been going on.”
Scott
suddenly realized that Gramps had to know something, which would explain some of
his recent behavior, especially his antagonistic attitude.
“There’s
more. Rory’s asked me to marry him.”
Susannah
looked shocked.
Rory waited
for her to regain her composure before he continued. “I haven’t given him a
definite answer yet, but I’m going to say yes.”
* * *
The next day,
Gramps sat down next to Reverend Ernest Hentingly and laid some money on the
bar. “A beer, please, Trevor.”
Trevor soon
placed a full mug in front of the old man. “Here you are.”
“How have you
been, George?” Ernest asked.
“Not bad.
Yourself?”
“Doing okay.”
The reverend cleared his throat. “May I ask you a question?”
Gramps
grunted. “I can’t really stop you.”
“What’s this
about closing the store? That sign you put up has a lot of people talking.”
“People are
allowed to talk, I suppose. No law against it.”
“Is there
something going on that maybe I can help with? If you’re having problems, maybe
there’s another way, rather than closing the store.”
“I’m getting
old, Ernest. Have you got a solution for that? I’ve had enough of running the
place. I want to retire and enjoy my life.”
Ernest
smiled. “I don’t think anyone will begrudge you that. You’ve been a fixture of
this town for as long as most people can remember. But you don’t have to close
the store to retire. Scott’s a fine young man. I’m sure he could run it for
you.”
“I don’t want
him to run it. I’m being selfish, but I would rather close the place than let
him have it.”
The reverend
gave Gramps a look of concern. “What’s he done to deserve that? In my chats with
him, he’s indicated he expected to run the store after you. He’s a good kid –
kind and considerate, always willing to help others.”
“It’s not
what he’s done. It’s what he hasn’t done.”
After a few
moments of silence, Ernest grinned. “Getting information out of you is like
squeezing blood out of a turnip. If you don’t want to talk about it, then that’s
fine. I just want you to know that I’m here if you need to talk about anything.”
Gramps
grunted. At the sound of the door opening, he glanced over his shoulder and saw
his daughter, in civilian clothing, entering the bar. She smiled and nodded at
him. His craggy face lit up as he accepted that her job was complete and Scott
was gone.
“I don’t mind
talking about it, Ernest. It’s really quite simple. One day, I’d like to see my
grandson married, and that’s simply not going to happen here. The store would
keep him in Greenwood, but his heart belongs elsewhere. To make sure he follows
his heart, I’m closing the business.”
“I know he
hasn’t met the right girl, yet, but there’s no reason he won’t at some stage in
the future. I would be honored to marry him when that happens, and there’s no
reason it can’t happen here.”
Gramps shook
his head. “It’s too late. He’s already met someone, and I expect to be told of a
proposal acceptance very soon, or someone is going to get a piece of my mind.
Scott’s already on his way to Massachusetts, and I’ll be following soon. I want
to be there for the wedding. I’m sure he’d love for you to officiate, but I
don’t think you’d do it. If you support the constitutional amendment that keeps
him from marrying his boyfriend here in this state, I don’t see that you’d do it
there, where it’s legal.”
Ernest
gasped. “Boyfriend? What are you talking about?”
Gramps rose
to his feet and cast a disdainful glance around the room. “More than sixty years
ago, I fought against oppression. I had the dubious honor of being part of the
liberation of the Mauthausen concentration camp in Austria.” A distant, pained
expression appeared on his face. “The sight of that place has haunted me ever
since.” He refocused and glared at the reverend. “It wasn’t only Jews that died
there. Homosexuals were killed, too. They’re all human as far as I’m concerned,
but to the Nazis, they weren’t deserving of that title.
“If you want
to think like them and say that my grandson shouldn’t marry the young man he
loves, then you can go to hell.” He turned to his daughter. “Come on, Susie,
it’s time for me to start packing, before I die of old age.”
Without a
backward glance, the two left the building. Gramps’ mind and heart were already
on a plane to Massachusetts. His body would soon catch up.
Copyright Notice - Copyright ©
September 2008 by
Graeme.
The author copyrights this story and
retains all rights. This work may not be duplicated in any form – physical,
electronic, audio, or otherwise – without the author's expressed permission. All
applicable copyright laws apply.
Disclaimer:
All individuals depicted are fictional, and
any resemblance to real persons is purely coincidental.
I would like to
thank Ray, Kel, C James, Shadowgod, and also everyone from The Mail Crew for the
advice they have given me on this story.
I would also like to thank Aaron and
Rain from
The Mail Crew
for editing this story for me. I can thoroughly recommend their website to all
teenagers who are gay, lesbian, bi or not sure.
If you'd like to send feedback to Graeme please use the comment box below.
You can send your comment anonymously if you'd like. Thank you.
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