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Alex shuffled back to his room dejectedly, wondering what to do. He felt utterly and completely alone. That feeling led him to crave solitude, contradictory yet typical.

He went to his room; as soon as he entered, he began removing the few clothes he had put on earlier in his rush to chase Delos. He decided he’d go to bed. He sat there for a moment, changed his mind, and decided to shower to wash away the lingering smells of sex and Delos. He took his shower quickly, not even bothering to wash his hair. He got out of the shower and dried off, casually discarding the towel on the floor, an unusual act for a neat-freak.

Alex sat on his bed, wishing he had a friend to talk to. For his whole life Alex had the luxury of being able to pick his friends. That was not how it worked for most kids. Alex thought you should be friends with people because you found them fascinating or because you shared their interests. When Alex was younger his classmates became friends with people because they lived near them, or because they were friends of friends, or sometimes because their families were friends. Most kids spent their youth around people they would never put up with as they got older. But not Alex; he had always picked his own friends, and as a result he went through life with almost no friends at all. He held those few dear so losing one was almost unbearably painful, and he was sure he had just lost one of the best ones he had ever had. He often wondered if, as he grew older, the friends of whom he held such fond memories would still be his friends? The answer was apparently no.

He didn’t like that. He was alone and it seemed to him that he would always be alone in the world. Delos had just taken advantage of him, almost violated him. He didn’t mind because it felt wonderful at the time, but he knew that their solid friendship had been seriously damaged. He wished he could have resisted his hormones and stopped it. He couldn’t understand why she had risked something so valuable for so little, and worse, why she wouldn’t talk to him about it. Friendship was the most valuable thing there was and she had destroyed it. He knew he could try to talk to her in a few weeks to see if their relationship was repairable, but this was an issue on her side and not his. He’d still be friends with her if she’d allow it. Although his body enjoyed the sex, mentally he wasn’t feeling great about it, and he knew this was going to be a serious problem for her if he told her, and he knew, invariably, she’d want to discuss it.

He realized he needed someone to talk to. Anyone. Anyone at all. But he had no one, and it was by his own design. He was desperate. He needed someone who wouldn’t judge him and whom he could trust. That ruled out most adults. He certainly didn’t want a shrink as his mother suggested, but he couldn’t think of anyone he could talk to. Well, there was Nicky, but that was impossible. Alex wished he could make that work. Thinking of Nicky now, he momentarily allowed himself to feel his need of him, and the pain that resulted was almost overwhelming. He hurt emotionally and felt physically ill.

Instead of going to bed, he got dressed. He decided to take his bike to the local park and walk around. It wasn’t that late, and although it was dark, he knew it wasn’t late enough to be unsafe. He hoped being out and about might clear his head.

He got on his bike and headed towards the park. He stopped at Starbucks and grabbed a latté to go. He rode with one hand and drank from his cup using the other. He arrived at the park, and decided to just ride around the bike path in an endless circle. It was a long, meandering path that ran through the park, so it wouldn’t be too boring. After a time, he ditched his empty cup in a trash receptacle.

The park grew more and more quiet, but there were still enough people around that he felt comfortable. Finally, he decided it was time to go home. He didn’t want to because there was nothing there for him but solitude, but it was getting late enough where he was sure the weirdoes would soon start to drift in. He decided to expend his remaining energy and take one last lap around the park at a fast clip so he’d be tired enough to pass out as soon as he got home.

He was picking up speed as he came through the center of the park, the darkest area since the lighting was mostly on the perimeter, when his tire hit something and he went flying forward over his handlebars, landing face forward in the hard-packed grass. His bicycle continued forward, wobbling, and the crashed into a tree. He grunted and tried to move, and realized he couldn’t breathe, the wind having been knocked out of him. He tried and tried to get his breath, but it took awhile.

“Hey, you! Are you all right?” he heard someone yell at him. The voice had a curious accent.

“I dunno, I must’ve hit something.”

“Yeah, there’s some potholes you didn’t see. Can you move? Stand? Walk?”

“Fuck. I can barely breathe. Let me try to get up.”

“Here, let me help you,” said the person extending his hand. Alex looked up and saw it was a teenager, probably around his age. Alex couldn’t really tell what the teen looked like because there was so little light, but he had a sudden flashback to his earlier dream of a silhouetted teen. Alex took the proffered hand and used it to pull himself up.

“Thanks,” Alex said. He was sore, but nothing seemed broken. He moved his various limbs and joints in turn. All seemed well. He felt something warm on his arm and knew it must be blood. “Fuck, I’m bleeding!”

“You want me to use my mobile to call an ambulance?”

“No. I don’t think it’s too bad.”

“Do you live far? I can help you get home.”

“No, actually I leave nearby. Besides, you don’t have to do that.”

“You’ll never make it home in the shape you’re in if you have to ride your bike.” The teen pulled up Alex’s bike and examined it. “The tire’s gone flat. I’ll walk it for you if you want.”

Alex knew he needed help. “Thanks. I don’t mean to sound ungrateful but why are you being nice to me? Why do you care?”

“Because, it’s the right thing to do. You’re hurt and I’m here. Why shouldn’t I help?”

Alex didn’t answer, and instead started limping down the path out of the park. The teen followed him. They moved slowly along, finally reaching the edge of the park where there was better light. Alex took stock of his wounds, all of which appeared to be minor. He didn’t look good on the surface but knew he’d clean up and be basically okay except for a bit of soreness. He also knew he was lucky it wasn’t far worse than a few grass burns and some minor cuts. They continued walking once Alex completed his examination.

“By the way, my name’s Gavin Michaels. And you’re Alex Maitland.”

A chill went down Alex’s spine as the green-eyed teen spoke. “How do you know who I am?”

“I go to your school. I was even in one of your classes this year. Besides, even if we weren’t in the same school, anyone would recognize you from the photos that were in the newspaper a few years ago. You had gone missing in England or something.”

Alex’s paranoia eased. “Ah, okay. That explains it. You said you’re from here, but yet you have an odd accent. It’s almost English, but not quite. I can’t exactly place it.”

“Yeah. It’s a Liverpool accent. My parents are from there. They split up this year and Dad’s still in San Francisco ‘cause he works there, and Mum moved down here. My dad’s the consul-general at the British consulate.”

“Derrick Michaels is your father?”

“Yes. Why? Do you know him?”

“This is awkward.”

“Why?”

“Well, I’ve met your father. We’ve had dealings. Everything was fine at first, and then went bad at the end. I would imagine he’s rather put out with me.”

“What’s my dad got to do with me? Me and my dad are two different people.”

“Fair enough; I’m sorry; you’re right. Still, I’m curious, why are you wasting your time with me?”

Gavin felt like Alex was pushing him away. “I’m not wasting my time. Look, if you really don’t want me around, I’ll leave as soon as I get you home. I’m just trying to help.”

“You didn’t answer my question. Why? That’s all I wanted to know.”

The exchange left them both more than a little irritated. Gavin didn’t say anything else, but just kept walking. Alex followed behind, his limping growing slightly more pronounced as his sore muscles tightened up. By the time they reached Alex’s house, he was in some noticeable discomfort, but he did his best to not let it show.

“Where’s your bike go?”

“Around back, please. Just set it anywhere convenient back there and I’ll get it later.”

Gavin didn’t reply and walked silently to the back of the house and leaned the bike against the rear of the house where it wouldn’t be easily visible to anyone. He came back around front and found Alex was waiting in front of the partly opened door. It looked like he was guarding it instead of waiting for someone.

When Alex saw Gavin approach, he stiffened slightly and said, “Thanks for helping. I appreciate it.”

“You aren’t going to ask me in, are you? You’re just going to say goodbye.” It was a statement.

Alex was angered because that was exactly what he had intended to do, and he didn’t want Gavin to be right. He also didn’t want Gavin inside. He looked at Gavin, who just stood there running his hands through his short, sandy hair. Alex’s mind was trying to spur his mouth into action when Gavin spoke. “No pressure, then. I’ll just leave. I hope you feel better later.”

“Fine. Come in,” spat Alex, instantly angry with himself for inviting Gavin in.

A wry grimace formed on Gavin’s face, “Now that we’ve got that out of the way, if we can sit somewhere and talk, I’ll answer your question.”

“My room,” said Alex, beckoning Gavin to follow before coming to a halt. “I’m being a bad host. Want something to drink?”

“Coke or beer. Either works.”

“Wait here,” said Alex; he went off to the kitchen and came back with two Cokes, handing one to Gavin before leading the way upstairs to his room.

Alex went in first and flopped down on the bed, and Gavin took the chair and immediately popped the top on his can of Coke and guzzled some before speaking. “In school I’ve noticed you keep to yourself and avoid any sort of physical contact with anyone. It’s not something I’d normally notice except that with you it’s particularly obvious. It’s obvious to everyone if you must know. I’m sorry to be so blunt, but you’re so different from anyone I’ve ever met, I don’t know how to deal with you. I’m not trying to be mean or hurt you.”

“Yeah? So? Lots of people keep to themselves and don’t want any physical contact. That’s not really abnormal,” said Alex defensively.

“I think it is, especially as far as you seem to carry it. Can I do something without you freaking out? I promise I won’t hurt you. I’ll stop if you ask me to.”

“Okay. Whatever.”

“Alright, then, Alex. Stand up.”

Alex complied, standing with his arms at his sides.

“Close your eyes.”

Again, Alex complied, feeling very vulnerable, but determined to trust Gavin at least a little. “Now what?”

Alex felt himself embraced in a tight hug. It wouldn’t have normally hurt, but due to his accident it was a bit painful. He was bothered by the audacity of it since he was not a fan of physical contact with strangers, but it felt oddly good. He made no effort to draw away, and his arms returned the embrace of their own volition. It felt comforting in an unexpected way. Finally, he decided this was starting to seem weird. “Okay. That’s enough. Stop.”

“Sure,” said Gavin and instantly let go. Alex lay back on the bed, rather confused.

“I guess I should thank you for that. I didn’t hate it. I mean, I hate contact, but that wasn’t what I expected. But you’re a stranger to me, and a guy. It started to freak me out a bit.”

“There’s no reason a hug should freak you out. It’s friendship – nothing more, nothing less. Don’t overanalyze it.”

“I’ll try not to,” lied Alex, knowing he would do so anyway. “So, how long have you been studying me, observing me, and waiting to put the moves on me?” inquired Alex, trying to sound as light-hearted as possible, though his narrowed eyes belied his true feelings.

“Not long exactly. I’ve been watching you incidentally and as far as I can tell, you don’t have any friends except Delos.”

“That’s a pretty big observation for someone who says he hasn’t been looking long.”

“Well, to be quite honest, I’ve been watching Delos. I rather fancy her.”

“She’s all yours. She and I are through.”

“Really?”

“Yes. Really. So you aren’t interested in me? That’s a relief,” stated Alex, trying to sound normal but realizing it had come out sounding resentful anyway.

“Don’t take it personally. If I was into guys, maybe I’d be interested. I just don’t go that way. I like girls. I’m shy around them but that doesn’t mean I don’t like them. Are you sure it won’t piss you off if I try to approach her?”

“No. The break-up was tonight and it was pretty messy. I think I can say we’re through forever. We’re looking for two different things. I can’t speak for her to say if she’s ready to move on yet. I know I’m not. It’s only been a few hours. That’s why I was riding around the park. So how is it you came to be in the park when I was there?” asked Alex.

“I was walking around, trying to think. That’s what I do: I walk around the park when I need to think. I want to go back to England because I miss it. It’d only be for a few weeks at most but the parents won’t let me. They don’t want me to be there alone,” said Gavin.

“Really? I believe I may have an idea that will benefit us both.”

“So, let’s hear it,” said Gavin with genuine interest.

“I don’t even know you, but I guess I’m going to have to trust you if my idea is going to work. I need to trust someone, and you seem trustworthy somehow.”

“People are generally okay, you know.”

“Actually, people mostly suck. I really believe that. But I think you’re okay. I can’t believe after all you did, you’re anything other than what you appear.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment, I suppose,” said Gavin dubiously.

“That’s how I meant it. And before I forget, I know I was being a bit of a dick, and I’m sorry for that. Secondly, thanks for helping me. Anyway, I suppose I should tell you my story.”

Alex, taking his biggest chance since opening up to Delos, recounted his entire story of meeting Nicky, leaving out the bit about Nicky’s world. He told Gavin everything else though, including the fact he thought he might possibly have some feelings for Nicky. Alex was feeling a bit stressed because Gavin was a stranger and he had just let loose his deepest secret.

“You know, it’s okay to like guys. There’s nothing wrong with it. You can’t help who you fall in love with. There’s no reason to stress over it.”

Alex knew that but he didn’t know how to explain how Nicky was being kept from him in a hidden world, separate from their own. He explained that this possible relationship is what had broken him and Delos up; he didn’t mention that they had just had their first sexual encounter. He felt strongly gentlemen ought not share such things with others.

“You haven’t really said what your idea is, but I can guess. You’re proposing we go to London together.”

“Yes. That is exactly it. I’ve been banned from Britain, and can’t go back without approval. Your father can grant that approval. Once we’re there you don’t even have to see me. You can do what you want. We can meet up for the return trip.”

“Maybe I’d like hanging around with you.”

Alex stopped and considered that. He was attracted to Gavin’s personality and was really starting to like him despite the fact Gavin was about the most forward, outgoing person he’d ever met. Something he usually found off-putting to say the very least. “We could do that too, but I’m going to spend the entire time looking for Nicky. That won’t be fun for you.”

“I could do that with you for a day or two, then I’d take the train to Liverpool because I really do want to see my old mates and some of my family. We could then, as you suggest, meet up at the end for the return trip.”

Alex didn’t know how to tell Gavin he wanted to find Nicky and be alone with him. So he just smiled and said, “Well, it’s up to you now. You, or we, have to convince your dad. We’ll talk soon and figure it out.”

Suddenly a voice yelled, “Honey, I’m home.”

Alex looked at the clock and saw it was nearly half-past eleven already. He hadn’t realized how long he and Gavin had been talking. “I hate to say this, but you probably should go. It’s late. Do you need a ride home or anything? My mom can do it.”

“No, not really. I live pretty close to here, believe it or not.”

They exchanged phone numbers, and Alex showed Gavin out. His mother was apparently already in her room, not having waited for Alex to answer, and didn’t appear, so Gavin left without meeting her. Alex returned to his room, a bit of a spring in his limping gait.