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Not Entirely Alone With Myself
(Codeys World and any other young readers: Please note that this chapter has graphic sex scenes and if that may make you uncomfortable, please skip this chapter.)
Alex came out of the shower, did his evening preparations, and then steeled himself. He shut off the light, unlocked the door, and exited the bathroom feeling apprehensive. He quietly put his things on the floor near his luggage. He was walking just in his underpants, and felt really awkward. He knew he shouldn't, but that was just how he was. Always modest, reserved, and he admitted it to himself, afraid. Or maybe he was just embarrassed about his body: he knew he would neither be the first nor the last teen to have issues with and be self-conscious of his body.
It was cold in the room and he could feel little goose-bumps appearing. He wondered if Gavin had turned the air conditioner down to sub-zero while he was in the shower. It certainly hadn't felt that cold when they had first come into the room.
He padded as softly as he could over to the bed. He could tell Gavin was sleeping, and as tired as he was himself, he thought he'd fall asleep quickly. He'd never shared a bed with anyone before, at least not in his conscious memory -- maybe he had as a child. He pulled back the covers, switched off the light, and slipped in as carefully and quietly as he could. Gavin was near the middle of the bed, and Alex was afraid of waking him. Actually, he realized he was afraid of even touching Gavin. They were both almost naked. He lay as close the edge of the bed as he could and tried to fall asleep.
He tried to sleep, and his body was exhausted, but he kept thinking of the nearly-naked teenager just a few feet in front of him. He felt a stirring in his loins and he willed it away, but the harder he willed it to leave, the stronger the stirring became. He thought he'd never fall asleep, but he must have because he awakened some hours later. Gavin was still asleep and somehow, to Alex's chagrin, he had snuggled up against Gavin. He'd heard the term spooning but it had never meant much to him until this very moment. He was going to roll away, but realized his arm was tangled up with Gavin's -- if he moved, he would surely awaken him.
Then, to his absolute horror, he felt the stirring again. He didn't know what to do. He lay there, in pain from a throbbing need that seemed to be growing and needed release with no discernible solution. He knew it was wrong, that he shouldn't have these sorts of feelings, except maybe about Nicky. At some point he again dozed off, his arm still trapped by Gavin, while thoughts of Nicky stirred in his head.
Alex dreamed of London and of Nicky. It was a montage of scenes, fragmented, unconnected, and vivid as dreams tend to be:
They were standing in the park, standing on the bank of the Thames. They were in a tube station, then walking down Tottenham Court Road. The images were distinct and joined in a continuous stream, and as disparate as they were, they were in time sequence because the sun rose at the beginning and set as it neared the end. Suddenly, he was back in Nicky's room in the secret world beneath London, where he was the only outsider to have seen and lived to tell the tale. They were sitting and talking. Then they were lying in bed, fully clothed, side-by-side, still talking. He had a sense of a warm, inviting feeling. He wondered what he and Nicky were talking about, but oddly he couldn't hear -- he knew, though, they were happy things because they were both smiling. Suddenly, they weren't wearing clothes. Alex was certain this should alarm him somehow, yet it didn't. He stared at Nicky's nakedness and it excited him greatly. He looked on as he reached out, touched him, and then began to tentatively masturbate Nicky, and this excited him, watching it. Soon Nicky was returning the favour and the frenzy of contact made him sweat. He wanted to kiss Nicky for sharing in this moment with him, and he moved closer and ...
“Alex are you sure that's what you want?”
That doesn't sound like Nicky, Alex thought. “Nicky, yeah, it's what I want.”
“Alex. Wake up. Now!” shouted Nicky in an unusual sounding voice. Then Alex broke out of the dream he was in.
“Gavin? Huh?”
“Yeah. I think we're going to have a long talk.”
“What do you mean?”
“Dude, I woke up and you were wanking me like your life depended on it.”
“NO!”
“Yeah, maybe you want to look at your hand for confirmation.”
Alex looked at his hand, and realized it was, indeed, covered in the telltale white cream all teen boys recognize. “Oh, man. Is this yours?”
“Well it isn't yours. And, well, I was returning the favour. I thought you'd just changed your mind about things. You probably noticed you've got something of a big mess in your shorts. I couldn't get them all the way down from the position you had me in.”
“Oh, God, I am so sorry.”
“Don't be. I enjoyed it. Thoroughly. When you leaned over to kiss me, that sort of surprised me because I didn't think that was what you wanted. So I asked you about it, if it was what you really wanted, but you didn't answer. When you called me by Nicky's name, I knew you weren't really awake. Maybe you were sleep-wanking? Anyway, I couldn't take advantage of you knowing you weren't really awake.”
“Thanks,” said Alex, wiping the mess from his hands and onto his shorts. “I don't even know what to say. I'm embarrassed beyond all belief.”
“Don't be. Really. There's nothing quite like being awoken to a hand pulling down your pants and giving you a right fine wank at six in the morning,” said Gavin, and then with a smirk, “I believe this is yours,” and with that wiped his hands on Alex's shorts as well.
Alex almost laughed at that, but he was still mortified and said nothing.
“Um, you know, Alex, if you wanted to do that again when we're awake, I wouldn't say no.”
“Really?”
“Yeah,” said Gavin and then suggestively licked one of his fingers. “I have to come clean. As you know I really fancied Delos, and I still do. But I'm really feeling quite strongly about you too. It's weird. I can't say as I ever expected to do anything sexual with a guy and am surprised I want to do more, but I do, with you anyway. But don't worry. I promised I wouldn't do anything to you and I won't.”
“I know you won't, Gavin. I think I just realized that. You didn't have to wake me up, but you did. It was the most vivid dream I ever had. Everything was so fucking real. I want to try something. Don't move,” ordered Alex as he leaned forward tentatively and kissed Gavin's lips.
Gavin responded, but the kiss didn't last for very long. Both boys broke the kiss and made a face, saying “Morning breath. Ewwww.”
“Wow, Alex. I know you won't believe this, but I never really thought this would happen. Not with you.”
“You give off mixed signals, that's for sure. I can't say I'm all right with this. I really can't. You have to know, there's still Nicky.”
“Yeah. Nicky. Is that my competition, or is there even a competition going on?”
Alex knew he owed Gavin something more. If he left things as they were, their budding friendship would probably end, or at least change drastically. So, he told Gavin everything, baring his soul -- leaving out only the bit about the underground world. He told him every little detail. His emotions, his fears, and didn't stop until he was done. He felt drained and spent.
Gavin sat for a moment when Alex finally stopped. He thought, then asked, “Thanks for all the information, Alex, but where does it leave me? I'd like to know where I stand.”
“Gavin, I really don't know. I can't forget Nicky. Do we even have to think about it right now?”
“No, I suppose not. Don't you feel like you're cheating on him, though, considering what we just did?”
“Not in the least, no. Nicky and I aren't together. Not yet, anyway. You can't cheat on someone if you're not even a couple. Maybe I cheated on the memory a little, but I certainly wasn't conscious or aware of what I was doing.”
Gavin scowled at this revelation, but it left his face quickly. He'd take what he could get. He really was falling for Alex, and besides he was a horny teenager and getting anything was better than nothing.
“You know, we'd better get ready for breakfast and then get off to the Embassy,” said Gavin.
“You're right. I'll need to take a shower again. I'm a bit sticky and probably don't smell good.”
“I'll have to agree with you, there, stinky!” smirked Gavin jumping out of bed and stripping before going to the bathroom to shower. Alex watched, not even bothering to hide his interest.
Gavin went in, started the water, and adjusted the temperature. Just before he jumped in, he stuck his head out the door and said, “You know, there's room for two in here.”
Alex thought about it. His body really embarrassed him. He was not ready to have an openly sexual relationship. Last night and this morning was an aberration, he was pretty sure. It was a dream. He didn't plan it. And that made it relatively okay.
Gavin was busy shampooing his hair when Alex jumped in, “I changed my mind. Nothing sexual. Just a shower. Is that alright?”
Gavin felt joy and hope course through his body as he answered, “Oh, hell, yes!” Gavin looked at Alex's body with fascination and deep interest.
Gavin's excitement became evident, and that evidence was echoed by Alex. They both showered in silence, watching each other. The sexual tension was palpable. Soon, there was no further reason to keep them in the shower, the water flowing uselessly down the drain, the two clean boys standing there openly looking at each other.
Gavin cocked his eyebrow at Alex, seeking permission questioningly, silently, hopefully. Alex wanted to respond, but he wasn't sure how. “What did you have in mind?” he asked nervously.
Gavin didn't respond verbally, but slowly reached over and using an experienced hand, did his best to make Alex feel wonderful. Alex stiffened at first, but quickly gave in to the wonderful feelings Gavin was causing. It was so much better than when he did this solo. When Gavin was done, he smiled and kissed Alex gently on the lips. “Thanks for letting me do that.”
“It was my pleasure, Gavin. Really and literally. Now turn around, Gavin.”
“Um, Alex, I am not ready for that. No way. Not now. Probably not ever.”
“Trust me, that's not what I had in mind.” Gavin turned around. Alex stood as close as he could to Gavin, savouring the feel of Gavin's skin, while being careful not to poke Gavin with his still erect penis. Alex made sure as much of their bodies were in contact with each other as he could.
Alex squirted some conditioner into his hand, reached around Gavin, and returned the favour. It didn't take long, but it was fruitful. And the new sensations thrilled Alex.
Gavin hadn't been expecting Alex to be so open to any mutual sexual activities, and feeling him returning what he himself had just done was surprising and erotic.
The boys rinsed off, got out of the shower, brushed their teeth, and then Alex exited to get dressed. Gavin stayed and shaved before he got dressed.
Alex was smiling to himself, and feeling a little bewildered. He thought he should be feeling any one of a number of emotions, ranging from embarrassment to mortification to guilt, yet the only feeling he had was one of overwhelming satisfaction and joy. He didn't understand it, but didn't question it either.
“I guess we won't need that second room, will we?” Gavin said, walking out of the bathroom.
“No, I guess not.”
“Are we okay?” asked Gavin.
“Yeah, surprisingly, we are,” replied Alex. “I didn't think I'd handle this as well as I did. But I'm okay. We're okay.”
“Let's go eat. I'm hungry.”
“Yeah, me too.”
“So what about Nicky, now?”
“I have to find him still. You know that.”
“I know,” said Gavin keeping the disappointment from his voice.
They went to the restaurant, and there was a great looking all-you-can-eat breakfast buffet, which they both had decided to get. The both made multiple trips to the buffet line. There was all the usual stuff plus some unique English and Chinese dishes as well. They ate until they were full, as only teenagers can eat. Looking at the bill, they realized they could have eaten for a week back home for the price of this one meal. They didn't care, though; because the coffee alone left them feeling it was worth every penny.
“I gotta run up and get the envelope and then we'll go.”
“Okay, I'll just wait in the lobby and look around if you don't mind.”
“No worries. I should be back in a flash.”
True to his word, Gavin was back in only a few minutes carrying the diplomatic pouch.
“So, where to, loverboy?” asked Alex.
“Please, don't call me that.”
“Sorry. I was just playing around.”
“I know, but unless we really end up there, I'd rather you not.”
“Sorry. Really. It won't happen again,” said Alex, surprised. Gavin was usually playful, so he must have really hit a sore spot. That left him wondering.
Gavin had turned away from Alex, hiding his face. Without
turning back, he said, “Anyway, the British Consulate is located at number one
Supreme Court Road, opposite the Conrad International Hotel. The closest MTR
station is Admiralty -- you remember that station from yesterday. We take the
escalator up into Queensway Shopping Centre and walk into Pacific Place. From
there we take the escalators up towards Hong Kong Park. We come out on Supreme
Court Road and turn left, and Bob's your uncle, we're there.
“Who's my what?” asked Alex, confused.
Gavin turned towards him, expression inscrutable, and said, “Sorry, a silly English expression. I don't know how to properly translate it.”
They walked outside, and the city was swarming with people. They walked into the MTR station, and rode the one stop to Admiralty station. They proceeded exactly as Gavin had described, and soon they were at the main entrance to the Consulate. Gavin motioned for Alex to stay put while he went to one of the guards to whom he showed his passport and the pouch.
The guard questioned Gavin about Alex, and there was some argument. Alex watched intently. Gavin motioned for Alex to come forward. “You can wait in the front office, but you won't be allowed past. You're really not supposed to even be in that part.”
“No problem. I can wait outside.”
“No, because this could be 30 seconds or three hours.”
They went in, and there was a reception desk. Gavin went up confidently, “I have a diplomatic pouch and I need to hand deliver it.”
“Yes, we've already called up. Would you either of you like a cuppa? I've just made a fresh pot,” asked the bubbly receptionist.
“No, we're stuffed. Just ate. Thank you, though,” answered Gavin for both of them. Alex would have normally felt slighted having someone else answer for him, but this was Gavin's show so he let it go.
About twenty minutes later, someone came down, looked at Gavin and then spoke to him, “Ah, Master Michaels. How is your father?”
“He's well, thank you, Mr. Hoskins, just as he always is. Here's the pouch he sent.”
“Brilliant. And, you will be happy to know, there's no return pouch. I have a meeting shortly, so really can't chat right now. Can I offer you tea before you go? Or perhaps dinner this evening?”
“No, that's quite alright. We've already got a full day of sightseeing before we depart. But thank you for your generous hospitality.”
Moments later, they were out on the street, free to see the sights.