“ . . . there are emotions somewhere in my chest
maybe right next to the lump in my throat
that is gagging me
something else that i have no control over. . . ”
I’d shown Adam this way. So I knew exactly where he was going. The path was so well used that the undergrowth around it was too thick to walk through, much less run. So I pushed on, hoping that Austin really knew which way Adam had run to.
I didn’t expect to see him there. God! I thought he was gone forever. But then I found out almost everyone know him. Even Victor! Fuck, Victor lived next door to him. But just as soon as he appeared, he vanished. I had to find him.
Adam was looking forward to see Sam again. He’d spent the whole night telling me about how much he missed everyone. Sam the most. He couldn’t wait to see him. I didn’t know what had happened. Helen didn’t either. If we had, we would have never let Adam go to the conference.
I saw Sam running across the field. I thought maybe he had forgot a mic cable or something. But when he ran past the parking lot, and towards the gorge, I figured something was wrong. Jerry wasn’t too far behind him.
I couldn’t handle it. I saw them together.
I never meant for him to see us like that.
It was my fault. I shouldn’t have pressured Sam like that. He was worried that someone would walk in on us.
When I reached the top of the stairs, Adam was already running off. I could hear shuffling in the dressing room.
“God damn it!” Someone yelled.
Soon, Sam flew around the corner, almost into me, and jumped off the stairs. He hit the ground running and slammed out through the doors. Then Jerry.
“What’s wrong?!” I called to Helen.
She was running away from the gymnasium, her face was determined. Macy joined her at the edge of the forest.
But neither one of them answered.
The drumming had stopped and everyone was watching. They all turned to me, and I looked back at them with the same expression.
Pounding feet, hard breathing. Helen was right behind me. I asked her what was wrong, but she didn’t know. All of the boys ran into the forest. We didn’t know where we were going. Then we heard it.
“No!” Someone shouted.
“Don’t die!” Someone else screamed, “Don’t die!”
When we finally arrived, all that was left was a puff of dust, and our boys.