CHAPTER 29 — At Last

The roadside grasses were brown from the August heat, and the scrub oak woods looked still and lifeless. I glanced back; Colin was still close behind in the Bronco.

Leaning my head against the window, I thought again of Daniel. I’d been remembering.

I remembered our first kiss, and how, like Prince Charming, he kissed me and made me come alive; alive to him, alive to my feelings for guys.

I remembered how he came to me under the tarp at the beach when I was alone after my fight with Stef. I remembered the weekend we borrowed his uncle’s boat and made love under the stars. We knew then that we were in love. We knew then that we wanted to be together.

In fact, that was when we first talked about going to UT together. And that fall we spent more and more time together until it included every weekend. We made love so many times… I wondered if I could calculate how many times. And then there was the first bike tour, and those weeks in Houston when we made love almost every night, sometimes for hours.

It would be different now for Daniel and me. It had almost ended for us that summer and things could never be the same. And yet, it seemed to me that things could be better. Almost losing each other made us more determined. We had chosen to hang on to each other. We promised; and we meant, for life.

But sixty miles would remain between us that fall, and almost certainly, there would be other guys. We had never promised there wouldn’t be. Other guys to be jealous of, other guys who might one day steal Daniel from me.

I wondered if maybe I should tattoo my handprint on his butt after all, or maybe even tattoo “property of Sean Sullivan.” Ever since Dan suggested the idea of matching tattoos, I’d been trying to think of something tangible for the two of us to share that would mark our relationship. We included Ry on the butt handprints; I wanted something just for Dan and me.

We hadn’t found rings we liked, and I wasn’t too sure about matching tattoos. I did have one other idea, though.

“Dad,” I said, turning to him.

He was sitting back, one arm extended casually to the steering wheel. “Yeah?”

“May I borrow your Bible a second?”

Dad always kept his Bible in his car. It was on the seat between us. “Sure,” he said, shoving it my way with a cocked eyebrow. “You going to look something up?”

“Yeah, something I heard in church.”

Dad’s interest was piqued now, especially if I had actually listened to something in church. But no way was I going to explain.

I unzipped the cover and turned to the back, to the index-like concordance. And there, I found the reference I wanted.

Dad watched, but I ignored him. I found the verse. "It shall come about if he says to you, 'I will not go out from you,' because he loves you… then you shall take an awl and pierce it through his ear into the door, and he shall be your servant forever.”

I had been thinking that you didn’t need an awl to pierce an ear. That’d hurt like hell. But guys were getting their ears pierced now, and a needle, an ear stud, and a commitment would suit what I had in mind.

But it needed to be special. And maybe, it shouldn’t be right away. Maybe, it should be when I was truly sure, because… if I did it, I’d mean it.

. . . . .

I glanced toward the front of the restaurant once more. The Crystal Baking Company, was a newer, upscale restaurant with tall glass windows along the front wall. Inside were pristine white tablecloths, sparkling silverware and rich, dark woodwork.

Dad smiled at my impatience. Colin took another roll from the basket.

Finally, Daniel came through the door, followed closely by Mary and then Roger. Daniel’s light-blond hair was combed back over his ears and hung down onto the back of his collar. Even from across the room, I could see the deep blue of his eyes.

I rose and reached for my cane, but Daniel walked briskly toward me before I could head his way. We embraced, and he felt good in my arms, all pressed cotton and firm body. His cheek was warm and smooth against mine and his familiar scent had a woodsy tint from a new cologne.

Even while I was still embracing Daniel, Roger put his arm over my shoulders and gave me a sideways hug. Daniel stepped away and shook Dad’s hand and then Colin’s while Mary gave me a hug. I hadn’t seen her for months, not since before Daniel had told her about us. But she hugged me harder and longer than Daniel had. She hugged me until I was no longer tense and then she rose on her tiptoes to kiss my cheek.

I was glad my mom and little sister weren’t there. It was awkward enough anyway, since it was the first time our families had been together since Daniel and I “came out.” And now, our families were coming together with Daniel and I as a couple; a romantically involved couple. Daniel and I sat together on one side of the table. Roger and Mary sat across from us; Dad and Colin took the ends.

At first the conversation was stilted, while under the table Dan and I rested our legs against each other, and I grew hard. But by the time the food arrived, we had all relaxed, and the conversation turned to Roger’s books, Dad’s job, Mary’s volunteer work at a museum in Houston, Colin’s football, and finally, college.

. . . . .

Before they left for home, Colin gave me a brisk hug. Then Dad embraced me and held me for a long time. His eyes were watering when he let me go, and it touched me. My eyes watered too, and I pulled Dad back into another, goodbye hug. Colin decided he wanted “seconds” and gave me a much better hug than the first one; squeezing me tightly in his arms; his cheek pressed to mine.

I’d been away from home with Daniel on bike tours and at his house in Houston, but this was different. Going off to college was like moving away from home. Daniel put his hand on my shoulder as we watched Dad and Colin drive away.

. . . . .

San Antonio lies at the edge of the Edwards Plateau and the Texas hill country. The climate is temperate most of the year, and the low hills of the Balcones escarpment descend from the north almost to the center of town. On one of those long ridges lay the campus of Trinity University.

Trinity has a small, but pretty campus; large trees and surprisingly contemporary buildings. It is located just west of San Antonio's Brackenridge Park and Zoo, south of the wealthy homes of Olmos Park and northeast of the historic Monte Vista district.

. . . . .

“This is nice,” Roger said, looking around my Trinity dorm room. Along one wall were two desks built into a credenza. On the opposite wall were two twin beds. Across the front of the room were tall windows and a doorway to stairs and a balcony. In the back was a closet and bath shared with the adjoining room. Outside, plants and trees framed the window and softened the bright sunshine.

Though I hadn’t seen him, my roommate had moved in and had appropriated one bed and a desk. The bed already looked well slept in and I figured him for a football player who had come up early for workouts. Because there was a room available and I was a runner and the school hoped I would run for Trinity, they had placed me in the athletic dorm, so my theory made sense.

“You could use something on the wall,” Daniel observed.

Mary patted the bed I had chosen. “I like your bedspread,” she said. “Really practical.”

“That mean’s bor-ing,” Daniel said.

I bit my tongue, having chosen the deep maroon bedspread specifically because I thought Daniel would look terrific on it nude… as if we’d ever get the chance. Several wisecracks crossed my mind, mainly along the line of how I could make my bed un-boring.

Daniel caught my smirk and smiled.

“I see a radio,” Roger said. “No TV?”

“Nah,” I said. “There’s one in the lobby if I get desperate, but I’ll need to study anyway.”

“Would you like a TV?” Roger asked quietly.

I knew Roger had money, but it made me feel damned uncomfortable to think that he might still be trying to make up to me for what had happened at the beginning of the summer.

“No,” I said. “I’m fine. I’m sure I’ll be way too busy to watch much TV, and who knows; maybe my roommate will have one anyway.”

“Have you met him yet?” Daniel asked.

I shook my head. “I think he must be gone for the weekend; I haven’t seen him at all.”

“Roger?” Mary said with a slight nod.

“Oh, yes, well,” Roger said, turning to Daniel and me. “I promised Mary that I’d take her to the Witte Museum. They’re putting together collections for the new art museum and they promised Mary she could have a private look. Will you guys come, or do you want us to drop you off at the hotel?”

“Considering Daniel’s taste,” I said, “he’d probably find great works of art to be boring.”

“That’s not true,” Daniel said, putting his arm over my shoulder. “I don’t find you boring.”

Roger groaned, shaking his head and turned for the door. He gathered Mary on the way. As they headed out the door, Daniel started to follow. I grabbed his arm.

I hadn’t had a chance to really say hello. Daniel grinned and let me take him into my arms. “Finally,” he said.

We hugged, tightly. We kissed and then Daniel pressed his cheek to mine. “I can’t wait for tonight,” he said, pulling me tighter; pressing his growing hardness to me.

I was just glad to hold him. Aaron had worn me out two nights before, just like he had said he would. And Ryan had been the night before that. Then, a couple of nights before that had been Colin, and a couple of nights before that, Linda. My libido was shot, and I was pissed at myself for having let it happen. Dan was hot for me and I was almost sexed out.

But it felt damned good to hold him, and I gave him a last good squeeze before we headed out the door.

. . . . .

“Whoa!” I said, as we got off the elevator. Directly in front of us was a canvas that was at least six feet tall, and even wider across; and it was a breathtaking painting. A lake was in the foreground, incredibly tall mountains in the distance, and over the mountains were even higher, grey clouds. Through the clouds, the sun threw light on the side of one mountain.

“American school,” Mary said, knowingly. “Magnificent, isn’t it?”

“Oh yeah,” I agreed.

Daniel leaned close and whispered behind my ear. “Where are the nudes?”

I elbowed him.

. . . . .

“She’s fat,” I said, studying the large painting of a matronly looking nude.

“Pleasantly plump,” Daniel said.

I shook my head. “Take off your clothes and stand up there. Let me compare.”

With a crafty grin, Daniel started unbuttoning his shirt.

“Oh, geez,” I said, quickly walking away.

. . . . .

They were in a back corner of one of the large storerooms being used specifically to store exhibits for the future art museum. I’d heard of Grecian urns before, but had no idea…

Daniel gasped delightedly and pointed to one urn on which four naked men with erections appeared to be following a young guy, also with an erection. A display card said, “Four older men seeking sexual favors from a youth.”

I glanced up to see if Roger and Mary were anywhere around, but they evidently were still in the last room.

“Look at this one,” Daniel said, pointing to another urn where an older man stood, his body pressed to the back of a young guy. “He’s screwing him.”

“Not exactly,” I pointed out. “See,” I said, tracing my finger up the young guy’s cock. “Here’s this guy’s, and here…” I moved my finger lower and traced a second cock. “The back guy is fucking between his legs.”

Another urn, next to it, had two pairs of guys doing exactly the same between the legs screwing. Daniel frowned. “Didn’t these guys know how to fuck?”

A display card next to the urn said, “Two older males performing intercrural intercourse on two younger males.”

I shrugged. “Intercrural intercourse…. maybe we’re missing something.”

Daniel stepped behind me, grabbed my waist, and pulled my butt to his crotch. “I’m willing to try it out.” He humped me.

“Damn, Dan,” I complained, stepping away. “Somebody’s gonna walk in on us.”

“We’ll just claim that we were trying to understand the art.”

“Yeah, the art of what?” I asked, studying the next urn.

Daniel stepped up behind me again, wrapping his arms high and low around my waist.
He was obviously horny as hell. I just wished I felt the same way. “You aren’t worried someone’s going to walk in on us?” I asked.

“If I were,” he whispered, “would I do this?” He hooked his thumbs into the back of my pants and pushed them down.

I grabbed them up and danced away, laughing. “You’re crazy?”

“Yeah, crazy for you,” he said, starting to follow.

I moved to the other side of a display table. “Oh,” I said. “This urn’s nice.” On it, two young men in a loose embrace were rubbing their cocks together. A display card said, “Two youths in frottage.”

“We like this one,” I said. “So that’s what you call it… frottage.

Daniel came around the display to read the card. He smiled and grabbed me by the hips, pulling our crotches together. His thick cock pressed through our clothes from my pubic bone to my hip. I went along with him, wrapping my arms around him, and then he pressed his mouth to the side of my neck and sucked.

His heat stirred me, and I decided that I wasn’t completely worn out sexually after all. I nuzzled into his hair, and my erection grew against his.

And then he pushed both hands into the back of my pants. “Shit, Dan,” I gasped. “We can’t do it here.”

He squeezed my butt cheeks, massaging them. “I haven’t taken my eyes off your ass all day,” he whispered. “These shorts are so hot on you.”

I looked around the room. There was nowhere to find privacy. But I remembered that there was a bathroom for the handicapped off the hall. I grabbed him by the hand. “I know where we can go.”

As soon as I locked the door, Daniel was on me, pulling me into a tight embrace. Once again, his hands plunged into the back of my pants and his mouth returned to my neck.

I wanted his shirt off. I wanted to feel his bare skin. Working my hands between us, I managed to undo his buttons.

Daniel undid my pants. While he pushed my shorts and underwear down to my knees, I pulled his shirt off. He grabbed my cock and I ran my hands down the smooth skin of his back. He cupped my balls with his other hand, and I opened my mouth on the cool skin of his slender shoulders.

The bathroom was large; large enough for a wheel chair to easily maneuver in with a sink set in a countertop high enough for a wheel chair to roll under. Daniel backed me to the counter top. When I sat up on it, he pulled my pants the rest of the way off.

Leaning back against the wall, I slid my butt forward to the edge, inviting him. He was hot for me, and I was hot to make him hotter. Slowly, because of my bad knee, I pulled my knees up, placing my feet out to the sides on the counter, offering myself to him. My cock lay up my stomach, over my shirt, and Daniel’s eyes glazed as he looked me over.

It felt good to stretch my legs out to the side, to bend my knees up, especially since I was putting no weight on my bad knee. Stretching open for him aroused me even more.

He stepped forward, smiling, hungry, and rubbed my cock with the palm of his hand. “You look so damn hot,” he whispered, and bent to kiss me. He rested his forehead on mine as he unbuttoned my shirt and laid it open. Then he kissed my nipples while his hands rubbed lightly over my belly and sides.

He kissed down my stomach and drew his hands down to my waist, and then up the insides of my thighs while he knelt at my butt. “Oh, damn, Sean. You look so good.” Pulling my butt cheeks apart, he buried his face in my crack, and I squirmed as I felt his warm, wet tongue.

I rubbed my stomach as Daniel worked on me, loosening me, and then he stood and pulled my butt forward, slightly over the edge of the counter top. He pushed down his pants, his cock springing free. He looked good; he always looked good, and his long cock curved up from between his legs with skin that looked so soft that I wanted to hold it, to suck it. But then he pushed the end down toward my butt, and I felt his cockhead in my crack.

I tilted up my hips and Daniel moved forward. I felt the pressure, and then he was in, filling me slowly. I closed my eyes and let my head roll as he moved in, and then I felt the tickle of his pubic hair, then the pressure of his loins as he grabbed my hips and pressed in all the way.

“Oh, Seany,” he gasped. “You feel so good.”

I smiled briefly at the nickname he had only used in lovemaking. “Little Danny feels damn good, too.” I murmured.

He rubbed my cock again, with the palm of his hand. I opened my eyes, dreamily, as Daniel lifted my cock, and staying in me, bent to take my cockhead into his mouth. He swirled it with his tongue, and lubed it with saliva. Then he pushed himself back into me as he leaned back up and ran a fingertip on top of my glans. I moaned loudly and Daniel shushed me, with a chuckle.

He stroked me as he slowly rocked in and out of me, and I rubbed his arms. He picked up speed and I wrapped my legs over his hips, crossing them at the ankles, supporting my bad leg with my good.

Daniel didn’t last long. Grabbing me by the hips, he pounded faster and faster, until, leaning over me, he grabbed my shoulders and drove all the way in. He pressed in, grinding into me, and started to whimper.

I gripped his sides, his lats, and tightened my ass, clenching on him; giving him pleasure and in the process, driving powerful sensations up from my butt, up through my perineum and balls, even up through my cock.

Daniel went rigid, whimpering, throbbing into me. I moved against him, moving him in me, and as I continued to clench my ass, my own orgasm hit. I gasped and arched under him.

He grabbed my cock and used pressure from his thumb on the underside to bring me off, and I shot cum up my belly and chest.

Daniel’s face was inches from mine. He leaned closer and kissed me. “Finally,” he whispered. “Just us.”

I knew what he meant. After the last few weeks, I’d had enough messing around and lovemaking with other guys to last a long time. It was a relief to be with Daniel; to be with the one I belonged to.

Clutching his lats, I pulled him up on me. “Stay inside me as long as you can,” I said.

We brushed lips. Then he kissed my eyes… my cheeks… my nose.

“Let’s not do anyone else for a while,” I suggested, looking up into his deep blue eyes. “Let’s just be us, together.”

I felt him stir inside me, and he wrapped his arms around me. “Beloved,” he whispered in my ear.

And there in his arms, Daniel was like Prince Charming again, waking me up from a dream; a dream with rivals and other lovers. To be with Daniel was to be awake again, real again, right again… alive again.

“Beloved,” I whispered in his ear.

. . . . .

The Little Rhein Steakhouse was on the San Antonio Riverwalk, adjacent to the hotel where we were staying, the Palacio del Rio. Tables with white linen, crystal, and candles were evenly spaced over stone terraces down to the river. Overhead, strings of party lights gave the evening a festive feel.

Our table was on the second highest terrace, close to the kitchen, and it was a good spot; close to the smells of cooking food, and high enough to see the river well. Under the table, Daniel and I rubbed legs while Roger did most of the talking; retelling humorous psychologist stories, most of which we’d all heard, but enjoyed.

He ordered the house red wine for all of us. We sipped, but I wasn’t used to wine, and the evening soon took on a soft glow.

I was glad when Roger ordered after dinner coffee for us all. I wasn’t much of a coffee drinker either, but I liked coffee at restaurants; it always seemed to taste better. And that night, I welcomed the caffeine.

We sat back in our seats and relaxed; all of us except Mary. She smiled and pulled two small boxes from her purse. “We have something for you boys,” Mary said. “I saw them and thought they’d look good on you two.” She glanced at her husband with a grateful smile. “Roger let me get them.”

She handed us each one of the long little boxes. “I hope you like them,” she said. “They’re necklaces, but made for men.”

My box contained a neck chain of black gemstones set in white gold. It was clearly a man’s neck chain, but incredibly elegant. Each link was made up of a deep black stone embedded in a setting of white gold. The metal was highly polished, as were the stones.

“It’s black agate,” Mary said. “Black agate is supposed to be good for healing.”

I lifted it, and noticed that the metal backing of each link was engraved. I glanced at Daniel. His neck chain was identical. Then I flipped mine over and studied the engraving. There was one letter on each link.

“Can you read it?” Mary asked.

In the candlelight, it was hard to read.

“It says,” Mary explained, “Our sons — Sean and Daniel… well it says that on one and Daniel and Sean on the other.” She watched us, nervously. “Do you mind that they’re pretty?” she asked. “Are they too pretty for young men to wear?”

“No,” I said, holding mine up to the light. The party lights reflected off the stones and the metal. A guy who wanted to look masculine might not wear it, but to hell with that! “Mary,” I said, “it’s beautiful. It’s the fanciest thing I’ve ever had.”

“They’re incredible, Mom,” Daniel agreed.

Mary smiled, happily.

I tried to fasten mine behind my neck. Daniel turned to help and I turned my back to him. He fastened the neck chain for me, and then, right there in the restaurant, kissed the back of my neck.

Then I fastened his. And I would have never done it if he hadn’t, but with a nervous glance to either side, I kissed the back of his neck. Then I smiled nervously at Roger.

He returned the smile; a resigned smile, a tolerant smile. And then I wasn’t sure how I felt about the necklace. Was it another attempt to salve their consciences after abandoning me last year?

But Mary looked happy. And maybe she and Roger didn’t feel nearly as guilty as I thought they should. And it struck me that my heart wasn’t right; they shouldn’t be worried about making up to me, and I shouldn’t worry about them doing it. I needed to forgive them and move on. Especially since Roger and Mary were making an effort to understand our relationship. They were making an effort to love us.

I rose from the table and came around to Mary. I gave her a hug. And suddenly her eyes filled with tears and she threw her arms around my neck, hugging me tightly. “Oh Sean,” she sobbed.

I gingerly knelt down beside her and let her cry on my neck. And when she calmed, I put my mouth to her ear. “I love you, Mary,” I said quietly.

She hugged my neck again.

When she let me go, and I stood to return to my chair, I saw Roger wipe his eyes.

Daniel patted my back as I sat down.

“She looked all over for those,” Roger said. “She wanted to give you two something that said we love you both… together.”

I caught the nuance.

“But I told her there was a problem with those necklaces,” Roger continued.

“What?” I asked. “They’re perfect.”

Roger shook his head. “No, the problem is your watch, and Daniel’s. You two have had those watches for a long time and they look it. They spoil the effect of the necklaces. If you’re going to dress up, you need to do it right, and so… I got you something too.” He nodded to Mary who reached into her bag for two watch boxes. “Mary picked them out.”

The watches were burnished chrome with black onyx faces. They were good looking watches and went well with the neck chains.

“Don’t get too excited,” Roger cautioned. “They weren’t expensive. But they do look good, don’t they?”

“Yeah,” Daniel and I each agreed as we removed our old watches and replaced them with the new ones.

I was admiring my watch when I realized Daniel was looking me over. “You look ravishing,” he said quietly.

“Yeah, well you ravished me earlier,” I answered. Then I remembered Roger and Mary. The wine had loosened my tongue way too much.

There was an awkward silence. Daniel rubbed the back of my neck. “Roger and Mary understand,” he said.

I glanced at them and saw Mary take Roger’s hand. She smiled encouragingly. He smiled uncertainly. “We’ll work through all this,” Roger said.

. . . . .

We rode a river tour boat and then strolled along the river after supper. We stopped at The Mad Hatter for dessert and I had my first taste of Cherries Jubilee. After that, we returned to the Palacio del Rio. It was still fairly early, but I had orientation the next day.

“You two head on upstairs,” Roger said to Mary and Daniel. “Give Sean and me a second or two. I’ll give him the extra key to Daniel’s room to let himself in.” He turned to me and corrected himself. “The extra key to your room.”

Daniel eyed him suspiciously, but Roger waved him on. Then he put an arm over my shoulder and guided me to the bar. “I won’t keep you long, Sean. I just wanted to say a few things.”

We sat at a back table and Roger ordered me a rum punch and himself a whiskey sour. Then he leaned back and studied me until the drinks came. I was uncomfortable, waiting to see what he had to say. I wondered if the silence wasn’t a psychologist’s ploy to get an upper hand in the conversation.

But then the drinks came, and Roger sighed and I wondered if he’d simply been looking for words. “I’m not sure how to say this,” he told me. Then he pulled out a card key and held it up. “The key to Daniel’s room; to your room.”

He smiled, sadly. “I almost feel like the father of a bride,” he said, “because I know what you will do when you get up there.” He leaned forward and I almost jumped as he took my hand. Putting the key in my palm, he closed both hands over mine. “You’re my son too, Sean. I don’t expect you and Daniel to stay together forever; I’m not sure gay couples last very long.” He squeezed my hand. “If Mary and I had our preference, you and Daniel would stay together forever.” He smiled, gently. “But even if you don’t, I know you two well enough to know that you will always be close. And I’m grateful for that, Sean. I want you to know that you’ll always be our son, too. Mary feels as strongly about this as I do.”

I wasn’t sure what to say. I certainly liked Roger and Mary a lot; maybe as much as my own parents; maybe even more than I liked my mom.

Roger, watching my face, leaned closer. “We let you down, Sean. I know. We’ve talked about it, Mary and me. And we want to make it up to you.”

I frowned. “You don’t have to make anything up to me, Roger. I already decided that. We’re cool.”

He cocked his head and leaned back, studying me again. He watched me sip my punch, and he took a sip of his whiskey sour. “You really are special, Sean. I mean that.” Then he frowned. “But we don’t want to be just cool, Sean.” He took another sip, then set down his drink and looked me in the eye. “You are Daniel’s mate, his lover; and that would make you part of our family anyway. But Sean,” he said, leaning forward. “What I’m trying to say, what I tried to say when I handed you the key to Daniel’s room, is that… I’m glad about it.” He paused and looked off toward the back of the room, searching for words.

“My son is gay,” he said. “I know that. And I know that he could be like a lot of gay men, lonely, promiscuous.”

I started to object, but Roger held up his hand. “I know Daniel. I saw how he was in Houston, when he didn’t have you. I’m glad he has you now, Sean; I’m glad you’ll be close enough to see each other every weekend. You in particular, Sean. Because if I were to pick a gay boy to be Daniel’s friend… his… partner; if I were to pick someone to take care of him, to be part of our family…” He leaned forward and smiled gently. “I couldn’t pick better; I would pick you.”

“Daniel needs you, Sean,” he said. “You need him, too. You balance each other.” His brow furrowed. “I’m going to tell you exactly what I’ve told Daniel to do for you… take good care of him, Sean. Protect him. Love him. Take care of each other.”

I nodded. “I love him, Roger. I’ve always loved him.”

Roger smiled. “Thank you.” Then he reached across the table and patted my hand. “Now go to Daniel; go to my son... your lover.”

I stood. Rodger stood. He held out his hand. I hugged him. I didn’t understand back then, how people sometimes became maudlin when drinking. All I knew was what Roger was trying to do, to say.

. . . . .

Our room was on the eighth floor overlooking the river. Daniel had opened the glass door to the balcony and I could hear the piano from the river bar below.

Daniel lay on the bed, naked, on his side, asleep. My eye traveled up his long lines and lingered over his fine features. His hair lay over his forehead and eyes and I was tempted to brush it back so I could enjoy looking at his whole face. But I decided to let him sleep, at least for the moment.

I took off my shoes and socks, then my shirt, and threw it over a chair. I did the same with my pants. But before taking off my underwear, I stepped to the balcony door. If anyone looked up from the river, or Market Street, they might see me, but I didn’t care. I wanted to think.

River lights and their reflections played up through the feathery tops of the river cypresses. The piano from the bar below echoed up clearly, mellow; the kind of music pianos play in bars, late at night. Listening to it, I took off my neck chain and fingered the links in the palm of my hand.

My lover lay on the bed behind me. My friend. My companion. And now, in Roger’s and Mary’s eyes, my mate. It was as if every door between Daniel and me had been opened, and once we moved in together, we really would be “mates,” for life. It was still a year away. I tried to think about how to make it shorter; how to live together while going to schools sixty miles apart.

I heard him stir, and then Daniel came up behind me. He wrapped his arms around my waist and nuzzled into the back of my neck. The press of his naked body to the back of mine warmed me in the cool of the evening, and caused my cock to stir. “What did Roger say?” he asked

Wrapping my arms over Daniel’s, I leaned back into him. “I think I was just given your hand in marriage,” I said.

Daniel chuckled and kissed the side of my neck. I felt his cock rising up between my legs.

“You getting ready to try… intercrural intercourse?” I asked with a grin.

He pulled my butt back against him. “Or something… wife.”

“Oh?” I said, turning in his arms. “What makes you think I’m the wife, wife?”

He smiled, and pressed his growing erection against the front of my underwear. And I wanted him. He saw it in my eyes, and yielded when I kissed him, bending him back.

I didn’t want to limp to bed with him. I wanted to dominate, to be strong, to be completely male; to own him. I took him to the floor, and pulling off my underwear, I rolled onto him, settling between his legs, my hardness to his, my balls lying on his, my belly pressed to his belly. I took his wrists and pinned them to the floor beside his head and kissed him. He opened his mouth to me and I plunged in with my tongue.

And as I kissed him, I rubbed myself on him, and he rocked his hips to meet me. We liked rubbing like that and often came that way. But tonight, I wanted inside him.

Daniel sensed my mood, or his mood fitted mine; as I ground against him, he pulled his knees up and out. He was mine to take. I felt strong over him and moved forcefully. I didn’t want to release his wrists. I didn’t want to break our kiss. I was leaking precum and wondered if it would be enough lubrication if I could “find” him.

I lifted my hips and he lifted his. I searched for him and he tried to meet me, but I couldn’t connect. I was afraid of my precum wiping off before I was in, and was about to give up and reach down to guide myself in, when I felt him give. I pressed forward. He was tight. But then his opening yielded and I groaned when I felt his tightness pass over my crown and down onto my shaft. I pressed in all the way until his bottom bones pressed back against my loins and I had stretched myself into him.

Pushing myself up on my hands, pinning his wrists, I thrust once, twice; adjusting to the fit, getting the angle. Daniel watched my face and then when I began to pound, his eyes rolled up and he moaned. He wrapped his legs over me, and I drove into him.

I took him. He had been given to me, as surely as anyone had ever been “given” in marriage. He belonged to me.

Releasing his wrists, I settled down onto him and wrapped my arms under him. Daniel placed the flat of his hands on the small of my back and tried to pull me more tightly against himself as he pressed his cock up against me. I pushed all the way inside him and made circles with my hips while sucking his neck.

“Oh, Sean,” he gasped and pulled his knees higher.

. . . . .

Daniel came first, arching under me, lubricating our bellies. I moved with him, making it better for him, stretching out his orgasm. And I came, too, my loins pressed hard to his butt; with moans and whimpers and a final, satisfied sigh.

We rested in each other’s arms while our breathing returned to normal. And then I pulled out from him, still hard, and moved up on him; laying my cock alongside his.

He smiled up at me, dreamily.

“We do it best, together.” I whispered and kissed his lips lightly.

“It’s love,” he said with a smile and gently buffed my hair with both hands. “Love and practice.” Then holding both sides of my head, he pulled me down for another kiss.

It began as an affectionate kiss. But I felt my love for him surge, and I squeezed him tightly, kissing him harder. Our mouths moved against each other and the kiss became warmer. I was still hard, and his cock felt hard. “You want to go again?” I asked.

“Maybe,” he said, stroking back my hair. “This sure feels good.”

“You wanna move to the bed?” I asked.


With a final lingering kiss, we rose from the floor, and I leaned on him the few feet to the bed. Our cocks were hard and jutted from our bodies, and the sight of them made me even harder.

He lay down on his back and opened his arms and legs in invitation, his cock flat up his belly. I knelt between his legs and laid my cock down onto his. He wrapped his legs over me once more, and I wrapped my arms under him. He ran his fingers into my hair and we resumed our kiss.

We moved languidly, lovingly, intimately. And eventually, we came that way, and spread our semen, belly on belly, until we softened. I slid off to the side, leaving a leg and an arm over him, and I nuzzled in behind his ear where the smell of his hair could fill my sleep.

. . . . .

It was early when I woke to Daniel’s hand brushing my hair back from my face. He was on his side, facing me on my side; his face, very close to mine. The door to the balcony was still open and the room was humid with morning air. Outside, birds were waking and the pale light of dawn colored the sky.

His eyes were almost earnest, and when he saw I was awake, he slid his fingers into the hair at the back of my head and pulled me into a kiss. He kissed me once, lightly, and then again, more firmly. He moved to me, pressing his body to mine. Our legs interlaced. I slid an arm under his neck and used the other to pull his belly to mine. His cock was thick.

“You horny again?” I asked with an amused whisper.

“Not really,” he said, his hand on my cheek. “I just wanted to kiss you, and to be like this.”

We kissed and brushed lips.

“You can wake me anytime for this,” I said, and kissed him again. We had “morning breath,” but I didn’t care; not with Daniel.

Cradling my cheek with his hand, he kissed me again; a long, tasting-my-lover kind of kiss.

He smiled and brushed my lips with his, my nose with his. “How do you feel about us now?” He asked quietly.

I slid my hand to his butt and pulled us snug. We had grown hard against each other’s hips. “We belong, Daniel,” I said. “We’ll always belong.”

“Yeah,” he said and gave me a peck. Then he closed his eyes and smiled. “You can sleep now.”

I kissed his lips. “I’m not sure I can,” I whispered, “Beloved.”

His smile widened and he snuggled in to me.

. . . . .

My toothbrush looked blurred, I was so tired. Standing in front of the bathroom mirror, I squinted at my reflection. I looked like shit.

Daniel came up behind me with a towel and dabbed my back. “You didn’t dry yourself well,” he said.

“I should have stayed under the shower,” I answered. “I think I’m starting to get a headache.” I raised the toothbrush, but paused at my mouth. “It was probably that last rum punch your dad bought me.”

I started to brush and Dan wrapped his arms around my waist, pressing his naked body to the back of mine. He laid his head down on the back of my neck and sighed.

“You tired too?” I asked around the toothbrush.

“What gives you that idea?” he asked, then yawned.

I spat. “I oughta skip this morning. We could sleep in.”

“No,” Daniel said, lifting his head. He kissed the back of my neck and patted my butt, then walked away. “You need to go.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t drive over here yesterday,” I called after him and spat again. “Then you wouldn’t have to drive me back over this morning.”

As I rinsed my mouth, Daniel returned to the bathroom, bringing my new necklace. As I stood back up, he fastened it around my neck. “It looks really good on you,” he said, pulling my hair back behind my ear and kissing the side of my neck. “It brings out the red highlights in your hair.”

Studying my reflection in the mirror, I frowned. “It brings out the red highlights in my eyes.”

Daniel laughed and left the bathroom again.

“You don’t think I should wear this today, do you?” I called out to him. “This is really dressy for classes.”

He leaned back in the door. “I want you to wear it. I like you in it.”

I smiled. “I won’t ever take if off again.”

. . . . .

There are advantages, and disadvantages to small, private colleges and they are not always the ones you would expect. In their effort to thoroughly integrate the freshman class into the small community of my new college, the administration brought in the entire freshman class on the Monday before classes were to begin.

Wednesday would see the start of classes with upper classmen arriving sometime on Tuesday. Monday and Tuesday were crammed with "bonding" activities for us newbies.

Daniel drove me to the dorm, but didn’t try to find a parking place; I’d be seeing him again soon. As I prepared to get out of the car, Dan looked over the groups of students who were already making their way to Orientation activities.

“Lots of cute guys,” he observed. “Damned cute guys.”

“Yeah.” I nodded, looking around. “None to hold a candle to you,” I told him.

“Just behave yourself,” he said.

I opened the passenger door. “I’m too tired not to,” I said. “You made sure of that.” I winked at him, blew a kiss, and climbed from the car.

I stopped by my dorm room first. I wanted to pick up a notepad and pen for orientation. And I finally met my roommate; Eric from Dallas.

My guess was right; Eric was a football player, and he was bigger than Aaron. He was taller and much beefier, with slabs of muscle obvious under his loose shirt. Under thick brown hair, he had All-American type good looks and a ready smile.

My necklace didn’t seem to put him off, and we walked to orientation together; slowly because of my cane. I had to explain my knee to him, though I definitely cleaned up the story. I wasn’t sure how wise it would be to tell a guy Eric’s size that he had a gay roommate.

But he was friendly enough, and intelligent. He had made guesses about me from what he’d seen in the room, like my guitar, my books, my textbooks, and my clothes. I hadn’t put up any pictures yet, but had just about decided that the picture of Linda and me might be a better idea than any of Daniel.

I had intended to be “out” at school. And if my roommate had been a regular, life-size guy, I might have started being honest that first day. But I definitely decided to wait when Eric’s girlfriend met us at the auditorium. Tracy was blond, buxom, bubbly; the All-American girl with a North Texas flavor. Her voice was melodic and her vowels long. She was charming. Eric had to be straight, and probably, North Texas Bible-belt conservative.

They adopted me right away, and Eric carried my orientation packet for me while I made slow going on my cane.

Daniel was right; there were lots of cute guys at Trinity. There were tall ones and short
ones; dark ones and light ones. There were guys with beards or mustaches and guys who were clean shaven. There were muscular guys and skinny guys. There were chubs and giants. And they were all my age.

I paid little attention to the orientation activities as I found myself watching guys. I tried not to be obvious as I looked them over and checked out their packages. I mentally undressed several. And I even mentally undressed a few girls, comparing them with Linda.

Even a college this small had twice the number of guys my age that my high school did. And whereas my high school had been largely Hispanic, here there were tons of Caucasians like myself. There was still plenty of Hispanics like I was used to, plus Blacks and Asians. And I mused that every one of them had a cock and balls. I thought once again of Daniel ‘sampling boys like chocolates’ and felt as if I understood a little more of what he must have encountered when he moved to Houston.

For a while, looking at all the good-looking freshmen was fun. But by mid-afternoon, I could barely keep my eyes open. I was already sleepy from the night before, and even the “fun” activities of orientation were difficult to stay awake through. So when we had to sit through several, welcoming speakers that afternoon, I slid down in my seat and fell asleep.

Tracy woke me with a tolerant smile when the speeches finished. “We’re supposed to go to the field house next. Are you tired from all the walking we’ve had to do?”

I rubbed my eyes. “That and I didn’t get much sleep last night.”

“Thinking about school?” she asked.

I shook my head. “No, my best friend and his folks were in town and we stayed up late visiting. He’s going to UT and tonight, I was going to drive up for a couple of hours to see his room and help him and his folks set up.”

Tracy put her hand on my arm. “Honey, you need to get some rest; you don’t need to be following this parade around. We’ll tell you if they say anything interesting. Just go. And if you sleep in tomorrow, don’t worry about it. I take good notes.”

Within the hour, I was in my car, on my way to the Austin Four Seasons Hotel. And I had no intention of returning before classes began on Wednesday morning.

As usual, emails are appreciated at